Tiger by the tail
A NEW YORK man jumped into the tiger enclosure at the Bronx Zoo because he wanted "to become one with the tiger" – a male Siberian named Bashuta, who weighs 180kg. He jumped from a small monorail that takes visitors around the different enclosures.
Now David Villalobos is in hospital for bites to his arms, legs, shoulders and back, as well as a broken arm, leg and pelvis and a collapsed lung. He also faces charges of trespassing.
In his objective of "becoming one with the tiger" – stated to police who believe this was not a suicide attempt - he did not succeed quite as well as the famous young lady of Riga.
There was a young lady of Riga
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger;
They returned from the ride
With the lady inside
And the smile on the face of the tiger.
Naked plunge
MORE than 200 skinnydippers plunged into the sea at Druridge Bay, on the Northumberland coast of England, hoping to break a world mass skinnydip record established in Wales last year.
But they didn't quite make the numbers. Many attribute this to a water temperature of 12 degrees Celsius and an air temperature of 5.5 Celsius.
Organiser Jacqueline Higginson nevertheless describes the charity event as "a lot of fun".
"Today loads of us ran naked into the sea to raise money and to celebrate ourselves and our bodies."
Keep trying, Jacqueline, keep celebrating! South Beach, Durban, is just waiting for you and your friends. Warmer too.
Shelf life?
SCIENTISTS at Trinity College, Dublin, have developed a technology to greatly extend the shelf life of bottled beer. But they really should have consulted the marketing experts before going to all that trouble.
In Dublin there's no need for a shelf life for beer – the demand is instant and insatiable.
Riddles
A READER in deepest Suffolk, England, sends in some riddles (presumably he reads The Mercury online – either that or our Circulation Department is surpassing itself with home deliveries).
· A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in three years. Which room is safest for him?
(The third. Lions that haven't eaten for three years are dead lions.)
· A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him underwater for over five minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But five minutes later they go out together and have a wonderful dinner. How can this be?
(She's a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it (underwater) and hung it up to dry.)
· What is black when you buy it, red when you use it and grey when you throw it away?
(Charcoal.)
· What are three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?
(Yesterday, today and tomorrow.)
· This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it. It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching.
(The letter "e", which is the most common in the English language, doesn't appear even once.)
They're dead crafty, those Suffolk people. Never play five-card brag with them!
Tailpiece
A CENSUS is being conducted in rural Tennessee. The census taker knocks on a farmhouse door and asks the woman who answers how many children she has and their ages.
"Les' see now, there's the twins, Kathy and Katy, they're 18. And the twins, Seth and Beth, they're 16. And the twins, Penny and Jenny, they're 14."
"Hold on. Did you get twins every time?"
"Heck no, there were a whole bunch of times we didn't get nothin'."
Last word
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
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