Lion alert in Essex
COUNTRY folk in England are being plagued by Big Cats. Not too long ago a panther or cougar was being regularly sighted in Oxfordshire and accused of killing deer, whose mangled carcasses were being found. Now a lioness has been spotted at large in Essex.
The sighting of the lioness rolling about and grooming herself in a field near Clacton-on-sea prompted a hunt by two police helicopters, while armed policemen searched for hours on the ground with keepers from Colchester Zoo, equipped with tranquilliser guns.
Residents were warned to stay indoors and caravanners were moved to a nearby garden centre for safety. You don't fool around with lions.
Nothing was found. The hunt has now been called off.
But grainy footage shot of the lioness before she disappeared was flashed on TV. Ginny Murphy, on holiday in Liverpool, recognised her own cat, a large gingery fellow named Teddy Bear who is often in the field where he was seen. He also gets mistaken for a fox. He's a Maine cat, an American domestic breed that is the world's largest, but absolutely harmless, she says. He was probably in the field sulking at being left at home alone.
Visit Essex and view the Big Five – lions, foxes, rabbits, badgers and Essex Girls.
Horn-rimmed specs
READER Angela Kightley wonders why, yesterday, I described Natal rugby coach Izak van Heerden as an exception – in the context of Hurricane Isaac – to people named Isaac tending to be academics in horn-rimmed spectacles.
She points out that Izak was an academic and he did wear horn-rimmed specs. "He was an excellent teacher and vice-principal at DHS."
Yes, that's true. What I meant though was that Izak was a great wreaker of havoc and devastation, just like a hurricane. Ask Northern Transvaal. Ask any other Currie Cup team of that era.
Izak van Heerden developed the "Natal game" – running rugby, close inter-passing between forwards and backs – that was revolutionary at the time. In the last 10 minutes of a match as the opposition were thinking of a shower and a beer, Natal would run in 20 points. That was real devastation.
Izak's wife, Thelma, was Angela's godmother. Izak himself was godfather to her sister. I bet those gals knew their rugby.
Strauss waltz
A CURIOUS business this resignation of Andrew Strauss as captain of England cricket. One moment he's skippering the world's top team, next he's stepped down after just a couple of match defeats. He insists it's got nothing to do with the Pietersen affair.
A fellow named Grysie du Toit, of Hillcrest Bowling Club, presents his version of events:
PRIOR to the start of this series, for Number One in the world, England thought they had TAYLOR-made plans to beat us but alas the BROAD plan that they COOKed up for us failed and the BELLs began to seriously ring and instead of TROTTing up victories, they were FINNished and at the death, could not even manage a STRAUSS waltz or a SWANn lake ballet. This could not even qualify for a Hans Christian ANDERSON story.
Vat hom, Grysie!
Cordon bleau
OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-40s: "I tried cooking with wine last night. It didn't go so well. After five glasses I couldn't remember what the heck I was doing in the kitchen."
Tailpiece
Last word
I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it. - Mary Chase
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