Saturday, November 8, 2014

The Idler, Tuesday, November 4, 2014

An amazing escape

A TRULY astonishing story is surely about to emerge from last Friday's Virgin 

Galactic space flight disaster. How did the pilot manage to parachute to safety 

from an altitude of almost 14 000m from a spacecraft that had burst into flame as 

it hurtled toward outer space?

The footage was so sickeningly reminiscent of the Challenger horror that you 

wouldn't have given anyone a chance.

Almost as astonishing is the lack of curiosity shown so far by the TV channels 

and the international agencies. We've had laconic statements from the crash 

investigators about one parachute having deployed, not two.

To what was this deployed parachute attached? An individual or the spacecraft 

itself? Did pilot Peter Siebold bale out? And at what altitude? If Siebold baled, 

what would have prevented co-pilot Michael Alsbury doing the same?

Did Siebold also come down in the Mojave Desert and, if so, how far from the 

crash site?

We're left guessing.

The crash was a human tragedy and possibly a permanent setback to the Virgin 

Galactic programme. But boy, does Siebold – apparently on the mend in hospital 

– have an amazing story to tell!

Hire this cop!

AN American policeman has been bringing traffic to a standstill with his marching 

band dance moves as he directs the flow on point duty.

Indiana State Trooper DuJuan Presely-McFadden says he likes to put a smile 

on motorists' faces with his groove, which he picked up at Jackson State 

University where he was in a marching band. He wants to show the human 

side of law enforcement.

I wonder if he would be prepared to do it naked? He sounds just the fellow 

to direct the hordes of traffic that will descend on Mpenjati, down the South 

Coast, once the nudist beach is opened, possibly next month.

Hibiscus Coast municipality should make an approach. With an epic like this 

you don't cut corners.

Fat girls

WALMART, the American supermarket chain, has apologised for "Fat Girl 

Costumes" which it advertised on its website. The offending item has now been 

removed.

It caused an uproar on social media.

But it seems a little unfair. Judging by the pictures that come around regularly 

on e-mail, Walmart was doing no more than cater for its client base.

This consists mostly of women for whom the word "fat" would be a 

euphemism, dressed in skimpy vests and skirts so short they reveal a 

terrifying expanse of underwear as they bend over the food counters.

Do the maths!

IN HIS latest grumpy newsletter, investment analyst Dr James Greener laments the 

feeble grasp of maths displayed by ideologues, as evidenced by the unemployment 

figures.

"The latest official report to reveal this sad and desperate story will trigger official reaction 

and promises 'to do more'. These are the same officials and reactions that appeared 

when the previous report was published and which have had no discernible effect.

"The sole sensible but rather diffident remarks came from Econometrix, a private sector 

think tank who suggested that there might be a link between having prescribed minimum 

wage levels and the number of people being paid those wages.

"Simple maths, however, is not a strong suit among ideologues.".

Evil clowns

CLOWNS have gone on the rampage in southern France. The gendarmerie 

report a spate of assaults and robberies around the towns of Vendargues and 

Montpellier by people dressed as clowns, armed with pistols, knives, baseball 

bats and iron bars.

Vendargues has now banned clowns from appearing in public and there have 

been a dozen arrests.

I guess the circus can give this town a miss.

Zoo

WRITER and motivational speaker Sarita Mathur pens some lines on the Animal Kingdom and the 

Human Zoo.

The Human Zoo, where animals reign,

Some more powerful than others,

in their own terrain.

Some at peace,

No gnashing of teeth.

Moaning and groaning.

At their circumstances.

 However there are others who will moan and wail,

Without lifting a hand ,

To do something for themselves.

The Human Zoo

Will carry on,

All day and all night long.

Tailpiece

MURPHY arrives home late from the pub.

His wife calls from upstairs: "Is dat you Murphy?".

"Begorrah! It damned well better be me!"

Last word

The world is round; it has no point. 

Adrienne E Gusoff

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