Gezundheit – health tips
NEWS from America: an interview with 101-year-old Hattie Mae MacDonald, of
Feague, Kentucky:
"Can you give us some health tips for reaching the age of 101?"
"For better digestion I drink beer. In the case of appetite loss I
drink white wine. For low blood pressure I drink red wine. In the case of
high blood pressure I drink scotch. And when I have a cold, I drink
Schnapps."
"When do you drink water?"
"I've never been that sick."
Some light
INCREMENTAL progress in finding out about John Joseph Murphy
who was lighthouse keeper at Cape St Lucia for about 30 years.
His great-grandson, Mick Murphy, is here on holiday from England
trying to find anyone who can remember his great-grandfather.
John Joseph had four daughters and a son – also John Joseph –
who returned to England and was Mick's grandfather.
William Davidson, of Mtubatuba, says his father recalls a Mr
Coward being lighthouse keeper at Cape St Lucia from about the
1950s, so if John Joseph Murphy was there for 30 years it must
have been from the 1920s, which is about when the lighthouse
was built.
But here the trail runs cold.
"The children would have gone to school in Durban or
Pietermaritzburg and in the 1940s children went by train to
boarding school," says William.
"I did speak to some of the older generation of the district and
they don't recall any Murphy children getting on the train at
Kwambonambi."
Four daughters – the offspring won't be called Murphy but they
must surely be around somewhere.
The dots
ESKOM is in free-fall. It seems we don't have a postal service any
more.
And now it also seems the security fence erected for millions at
taxpayers' expense at JZ's Nkandla private residence is falling
down and full of gaps.
Do we join the dots?
Dillerisms
MORE Dillerisms – from the collected wisdom of American comedienne Phyllis Diller.
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
•
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
•
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
•
Flights
OVERHEARD at the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties: ""Great sex last night.
The wife asked what I was doing on the computer. Looking for cheap flights, I
said. 'I love you!' she said and just pounced on me. It's odd, she's never shown
an interest in darts before."
Tailpiece
A MAN walks out onto Broadway, New York, and catches a taxi just
going by. He gets in and the cabbie says: "Perfect timing. You're just
like Brian."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the
time. A bit like my coming along when you needed a cab. Things
happened like that to Brian Sullivan, every single time."
Passenger: "But there are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Brian Sullivan. He was a terrific athlete. He could have
won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang
like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star ... and you
should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He
remembered everyone's birthday. He knew all about wine, which
foods to order and which fork to eat them with.
"He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole
street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow! Some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid
traffic jams. Not like me. But Brian, he never made a mistake and he
really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would
never answer her back even if she was in the wrong ... and his
clothing was always immaculate. He was the perfect man. He never
made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian. He died. I'm married to his
widow."
Last word
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with
twenty-eight years ago.
Will Rogers
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