Don't be fooled
THEY'RE fooling us again – is there no end to this conspiracy?
It began with Nasa putting out pictures of bleak, grassless rocky
expanses, purportedly the surface of Mars.
Now the European Space Agency are in on the act. The Rosetta
satellite has supposedly landed an exploration craft - named
Philae - on Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko, 510 million km
from Earth.
The familiar images are there – a rugged, potholed mass of
nothingness, which they this time tell us consists of ice and dust.
The dust is genuine enough but, as anyone can see, this is no
Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko, 510 million km from Earth.
It's the Griquas rugby field, a few km outside Kimberley. Anyone
can recognise it.
It's outrageous the way these space agencies are putting out hoax
material so that naïve governments will contribute to their budgets.
Some people are just too gullible for words.
.
Big chance
THE sacred turf of Twickers ... here's the big chance for Patrick Lambie and Cobus
Reinach. There's so much at stake.
Not just beating England – who are formidable – but the future pattern of Bok rugby.
It would be tragic if our newly adopted ball-in-hand running rugby should implode.
What went wrong last weekend? It's difficult to say. Maybe the Irish secret service
put itchy-powder in their jockstraps. Maybe the Irish Rugby Union took them on a
tour of the Guinness brewery the day before.
But if there's any pairing to pull the chestnuts out of the fire, it's Lambie and Reinach.
Such pace, such verve.
Go boys, go!
Phantom maul
MEANWHILE Rob Haswell, former city manager of Maritzburg, asks if we've heard
the latest one from Dublin.
"How many Irishmen does it take to stop a Bok rolling maul? Answer: NONE!"
Yes, a curiously effective tactic. But I wonder how many other refs would have
allowed it.
Airport stats
STATISTICS come in, resulting from the full body scans that have
been instituted as a security measure at airports.
Terrorists discovered – 0; transvestites – 133; hernias – 1 485;
haemorrhoid cases – 3 172; enlarged prostates – 8 249; breast
implants – 59 350; natural blondes – 3.
Surprise discovery: politicians lack cojones.
Mudpack
OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties: "My wife
was at the beauty salon for two hours. That was only for the
estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then
the mud fell off."
Haunted store?
STAFF in a department store in the US began to think the place was haunted.
They kept hearing somebody calling for help. But when police came to Marshalls,
in Longmont, near Denver, Colorado, they could find nothing.
The calls continued. Firefighters used a circular saw to cut through a wall. They
found a fellow stuck there in a gap between the shop's interior wall and an
exterior one. He had fallen off the roof over the weekend.
They took him off to hospital with a broken ankle. But his problems aren't over.
The cops think he was trying to burgle the place.
They can certainly get him on breaking and entering.
Tim Condon
IT'S sad to learn that Tim Condon, one of the great movers and
shakers in this province in wildlife conservation and campaigning
against pollution, has died aged 79.
Tim was on hand as an agitator whenever there was any kind of
threat to our natural heritage, and was not beyond doing things like
dumping rotting fish at the factory gates of pollution culprits. He got
up plenty of people's noses but he refused to sit back.
He moved to Canada about 15 years ago, for family reasons, but
never did forget KZN and its natural heritage. The digital revolution
provided another avenue and he campaigned tirelessly on the
internet from Canada on behalf of the Zululand reserves, the rhino
and conservation generally.
He began in an era where conservation and protection of the
environment were considered in many influential circles to be
bizarre, sentimental fixations, a blockage on progress. He saw the
tide turn, and no doubt gained some satisfaction from it. But he
also knew the struggle was far from over.
Tailpiece
TEACHER: "Now, class, I'm going to test your vocabulary. Suzie,
there's a word for a person who takes a man's wallet out of his
pocket without him knowing. What is it?"
Suzie: "Wife?"
Last word
Research is the process of going up alleys to see if they are blind.
Marston Bates
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