It's the new chit-chat
ARE you finding cocktail party chit-chat a little hackneyed and pedestirian? Here's the chance to
take 'ém by storm as the Christmas party season approaches, with some wonderfully oungent and
expressive Anglo-Saxon words that have fallen into disuse.
They are supplied by reader Eric Hodgson, taken from Wright's English Dialect Dictionary, John
Jamieson's Etymological Dictionary of the Scottish Language, Francis Grose's Glossary of Provincial
and Local Words Used In England and John Ray's Collection of South and East-Country words. Here
goes:
• Aptycock - A quick-witted young man.
• Bang-a-bonk – Not what it might seem. It means to sit lazily on a riverbank.
• Bauchle – An old, worn-out shoe.
• Climb-tack - A cat that likes to walk along high shelves;
• Clomph – To walk in shoes too large.
• Crambo-clink – Poor poetry, pointless conversation
• Crinkie-winkie – Also not what it might seem,. A groundless misgiving.
• Crum-a-grackle - An awkward situation.
• Crumpsy – Short-tempered, irritable.
• Cuddle-me-buff – Again, not what it might seem. It means beer.
• Culf – Loose feathers from a cushion.
• Cureckitycoo - To flirt and canoodle.
• Dauncy – Unwell..
• Doup-scud – A heavy fall on the buttocks.
• Eedle-doddle – A person who shows no initiative in a crisis.
• Fauchle – Fumble tiredly.
• Flench – The weather looks as it it will improve, then doesn't. It flenches;
• Floby-mobly – Not feeling at your best..
• Hansper – Pain and stiffness felt in the legs after a long walk.
• Inisitijitty – A worthless, ridiculous-looking person.
• Jeddarty-jiddarty – Tangled..
• Lenniochmore – A larger than average baby.
• Limpsey – Limp and flaccid.
• Mundle – Be clumsy.
• Nawpy – A new pen..
• Nipperkin – A small gulp of liquor.
• Omperlodge – To disagree.
• Outspeckle – a laughing-stock.
• Paddy-noddy – A long and tedious story..
• Parwhobble – To monopolise a conversation.
• Peg-puff – An old-fashioned young woman.
• Polrumptious – Raucous, rude.
• Quaaltagh – The first person you see after you leave your house.
• Razzle – To cook something to burn on the ouitside but be raw inside.
• Shackbaggerly – Untidy, loose, disorderly.
• Shivviness – The discomfort of wearing new underwear.
• Sillerless – Broke.
• Slitherum – Slow-moving dawdler.
• Sliving – Thin slice of bread or meat.
• Slochet – To walk with your shoelaces untied.
• Spinkie-den – A woodland clearing full of flowers.
• Tewly-stomached – Overly sensitive, delicate.
• Titty-toit – Er, not what might appear. To tidy up.
• Unchancy – Not to be meddled with.
• Vargyle – To work in a messy, untidy way,
• Vartiwell - The little metal loop that the latch of a gate hooks
into.
• Weather-mouth – A bright, sunny patch of sky.
• Yawmagorp – a lounger or – I can't believe this – an Idler!!!
• Zwodder – A drowsy, stupid state of body or mind.
There, you've got the new vocabulary – now let's produce the sparkling chit-chat.
My dear, did you ever see anything so crumpy as Baleka Mbete ... shackbaggerly, that's parliament
these days ... polrumptious, that's the only way to describe that lennochmore in the red overalls and
gumboots ... yes, thank you, I'll take a nipperkin, I need it after enduring that paddy-noddy from Mac
Maharaj ... Time to get zwodder ... The economy? Jeddarty-jiddarty, old boy, run by a bunch of eedle-
doddles,. if we're not careful we'll doup-scud ... I wish JZ would stop clomphing about ... JP Duminy?
An apscock if ever I saw one, but we need some titty-toit in the field ... The Ireland game? What an
outspeckle ... Bang-a-bonk? I wish, I wish ... Did you read that limpsey stuff in the Yawmagorp's
Column?
And so it goes, cocktail chatter reinvigorated by plain Anglo-Saxon.
Tailpiece
Jock and Jimmy are walking along a street in London. A shop window has a
sign: "Suits £5 – shirts £2 – trousers £2.50 a pair."
Jock: "Can ye believe this bargain? Let's buy 'em all up.''
Jimmy""Well resell in Glasgie an' mak a fortune!"
Jock: "Let me do the talkin'. I'll put on me Sassenach accent, itherwise they'll
screw us."
They go inside.
"Hello, my good man. I'll take 50 suits at £5, 100 shirts at £2 and 50 pairs
of trousers at £2.50. I'll back up my truck to load them - old chap!"
Shop assistant: "How are things in Scotland?"
"Er, fine. How did you guess?""
"This is a dry-cleaner's"
Last word
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
Albert Einstein
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