The right to lie
CONTROVERSY rages in Britain over "the right to die" – whether terminally ill patients should have the right to assisted suicide.
Meanwhile, ructions continue in the world of red-top tabloid newspapers. Arrests have been made over allegations of phone and e-mail hacking, as well as bribery of police. The arrests include Rebekah Brooks, former editor of the Sun and the now-defunct News of the World before she became chief executive of Rupert Murdoch's News International group.
Satirical magazine Private Eye ties it all together. "Right to Lie," reads a headline. "Terminal case fights on," says a subsidiary headline.
"The tragic story of a woman who faces 'locked-in' syndrome for the rest of her life is fighting in the courts for the 'right to lie.'
"In what could be a landmark judgment, Rebekah, who is paralysed by fear and can only communicate through lawyers or by blinking an eyelash at Lord Leveson, is hoping for a change in the law which will enable her to 'lie with dignity in a manner of her own choosing'.
"Objectors, however, claim that despite the sad circumstances of Rebekah's situation, it is still immoral to commit 'assisted professional suicide' in this way.
"Said one opponent of the Right To Lie Campaign: 'Truth is sacred and if we change the law now other people will feel pressurised to lie by those close to them. Which may lead to people getting away with murder'.
"Tragically, Rebekah will not now be going to Switzerland for an appointment with the sinister Indignitas clinic run by the evil Rupert … (That's enough very bad taste. Ed)"
Oh boy, heavy stuff! But it says it all.
Family business
JIM SPENCER, of Margate, says he was intrigued by this week's piece on the iron and steel industry because his family have always been heavily involved in it.
"The women iron and the men steal."
Live protest
MORE than a dozen protesters broke into a TV studio in Greece and pelted the newsreader with eggs and yoghurt during a live broadcast. They were objecting to the appearance on the programme a week earlier of a representative of a far-right political party.
Eggs and yoghurt? It must have been one of those breakfast shows.
Snakeheads
THE AMERICAN state of Maryland has declared war on the snakehead. This is an invasive species of fish which destroys local fish and is so hardy it can survive four days out of the water and can "walk" on its fins for 400m on land to get from one body of water to the next.
The Maryland Department of Natural Resources is now offering substantial bounties to fishermen who catch and destroy the pest. Anglers need to catch one, kill it then post a picture of themselves with the dead snakehead on the department's website.
"War on the snakehead". It's as well we don't have the problem here – people would think we were badmouthing the politicians again.
Er, not quite
LET NOBODY accuse newspapers of exaggeration and hyperbole. The Mail Courier, in Queensland, Australia, reports that a small boy needed more than 30 stitches after being attacked by a fish described as "a cross between a tadpole and a great white shark."
It happened while five-year-old Tom Horn was wading with his family on Thursday Island, in the far north of Queensland. He certainly was seriously lacerated.
But the villain turns out to be what is known as a puffer fish which, from the accompanying photograph, looks remarkably like our Toby, or blaasop. The puffer fish grows to about 14 inches. Not quite a tadpole, nor quite a great white shark.
Olympic flame
I DON'T know how many medals we'll pick up at the London Olympics, but at least a former Durban girl will be carrying the Olympic flame part of the way during the build-up.
Twelve-year-old Ashlyn Dickinson has been chosen to carry the flame part of the way on the Isle of Wight, where her schoolteacher parents relocated about six years ago. The news comes from her proud granny, Rosalynd Phllips, 91, of Amanzimtoti.
Tailpiece
"I'm in trouble with my girlfriend again."
"How so?"
"She says I'm a sexist. I should look at things from a woman's perspective."
"Yes?"
"And then I started staring out of the kitchen window."
Last word
The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
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