Gilbert & Sullivan spectacular
PEOPLE might be alarmed by allegations in various quarters that senior police officers have been putting members of their own family on the police informer payroll; that police "safe houses" – supposedly for the witness protection programme – have been bought at popular holiday resorts and have been used by top cops and their families; that undercover police vehicles have been used to get these top cops and their families about the place.
But it's not what it seems. There's been a terrible pagination mix-up in the publications concerned. What seem to be the news pages are in fact the showbiz pages. It's all about the comic opera season that's coming up this winter.
Relax and consider these lines from The Pirates of Penzance. They seem to capture the indomitable spirit of the police, in the face of whatever adversity:
When a felon's not engaged in his employment –
His employment,
Or maturing his felonious little plans –
Little plans,
|
That pretty well captures it. Relax! The cops are on the case! Roll up, roll up for the great Gilbert & Sullivan show!
Quirky verse
THIS is written in haste, using the laptop batteries, and in semi-darkness. The electricity has been playing games again, coming and going. Yet it seems appropriate. I've just been reading a poem by Geoffrey Haresnape.
Most countries would call it a "power cut,"
others a "power failure,"
some even – shock-horror – a "blackout";
but we have a new terminology
to match our new democracy.
"Outage" –
What a quaint understated sort of word …
Further on:
After 4 a.m. I was driving my grown-up son
to run in an All Africa marathon.
From Wynberg Hill
the lights of South Peninsula
were stretched out level beneath us,
a web of silver and golden jewels
comforting to the eye.
Suddenly,
without warning,
they were all extinguished
like a man may put out a candle.
"I'll huff and I'll puff
and I'll blow your World Class City out."
Yep, that's about it. Haresnape is professor emeritus of English at the University of Cape Town and this fifth collection of his verse – Where the Wind Wills, published by Echoing Green Press – is a wonderful combination of satirical humour and the deepest reflections on the mysteries of existence.
Much of it is written through two personae: Eyeball Erasmus, who insists on meticulous rhyming couplets; and Dr Severance Package, who allows free verse.
It's thought-provoking and entertaining stuff and Haresnape will be in Durban one of these days to read it at St Clements. Watch this space!
More blue lights
IN HIS LATEST grumpy newsletter, investment analyst Dr James Greener takes up the case of blue-light activity on the North Coast.
"From this desk I can watch the traffic on the coastal highway out of Durban. There is not a lot up this road that any politicians could vaguely claim required their urgent presence; unless of course they were going to lunch or a round of golf or perhaps to buy a present for someone special.
"Nevertheless, several times a day a wailing cavalcade of fancy cars speeds along this road in a blizzard of flashing blue lights. The only reason for their obvious and objectionably dangerous haste must be that they are late for something. Something which almost certainly involves merely speeches and catering.
"We must therefore conclude that both the panjandrum and his minders are utterly useless at organising a diary and we ought to signify our concern and advice for them at this shortcoming with some suitable hand signals that we can use as they zip past.
"How about a pair of splayed fingers to represent the space that should be left between diary entries? Or a single extended finger to suggest that only one person ought to be in charge of making appointments."
Careful, Doc. You can get arrested for that.
Tailpiece
A STATE trooper stops a pick-up truck down in Alabama.
"Got any ID?"
"Got any ID 'bout what?"
Last word
Art is either plagiarism or revolution.
No comments:
Post a Comment