Saturday, April 28, 2012

Captain Cook, Friday, April 27

WELL, this weekend we get full points, that's for sure. Never before have I known a rugby competition where points are awarded in this way for a bye. As everyone in the competition gets a bye, and therefore wins points for that day, there seems little sense in it. Or have I missed something? If you down a record number of beers on your day off, or if members of the team manage to seduce a barmaid or two, do you pick up bonus points? There is much that is weird and wonderful about the modern professional game.

Yet the full points thing highlights our dilemma, our huge frustration. In four games now we've earned a bonus point. Each of those matches we could have won and at least three of them we should have won. We seem fated this season to be one of the strongest sides in the competition yet to languish low in the log. The wiring is still loose. We splutter when we should be purring. We fail to execute, to finish. Yet we dominate the game. Mama mia!

Last weekend against Waikato was a game nobody deserved to win. It was a bummer. Yet we did do enough to win. We shut down Sonny Bill Williams in fine style. We had the best of possession. But we spilled critical passes; we took wrong options. Are we nervous? Over-eager? It's a mystery.

Let us use the break to reflect on the Super-15. One issue is the lamentable standard of refereeing. It stuck out again last Saturday like a sore thumb. I'm not talking just about that villainous head-high shoulder charge by Lelia Masaga on Lwazi Mvovo (an automatic red card offence); I'm talking also about the way the Waikato backs were consistently offside as they defended deep in their own half. It should have yielded a harvest of penalties.

Yet not a sausage. It's the touch judges (they call themselves assistant referees these days) that are a particular concern. It's possible for the ref to be unsighted, but the attempted assassination of Mvovo happened under the very nose of the touch judge. The offside encroachments were so blatant they were a joke. Again, the touch judges need to get involved.

Sanzar need to look seriously at this. The punters won't put up with this nonsense forever. The case becomes unanswerable for referees/touch judges themselves to be subject to citing and disciplinary hearings. If the players can be held to such high standards under camera scrutiny, why not the refs as well? There's too much at stake to tolerate this slackness.

One doesn't want to be vindictive. But a hefty fine plus the culprits being dragged about the streets by pigs – the way Ivan the Terrible did with people who displeased him – would be appropriate.

The weekend stretches ahead, free and empty. Let us gird our loins for Otago next week. And while away the time with beer and barmaids. After all, we are getting four points.

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