| Now it's corruption fatigue ARE YOU HAVING difficulty coping with the deluge of information about corruption, kickbacks, supply chain regulations, treasury regulations, rigged tenders and multi-billion rand leases? Much of this coupled with stories of Ferraris, Gucci suits, Johnny Walker Blue Label and the occasional consumption of sushi from the navel region of scantily-clad lovelies? Much of it coupled with dynastic information – blood relationships, marriages, "partnerships" – among the new plutocracy/political aristocracy, such as to make Who's Who and Burke's Peerage look commonplace? You find it all increasingly difficult to digest? Well, it seems you're not alone. A psychologist acquaintance tells me much of society is suffering Corruption Fatigue, or what is known in the trade as Pickpocket Victim Syndrome. "It's a serious condition, comparable with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, or what was known in World War I as "shell shock". It's caused by exposure to continuous bombardment, with no end in sight, of information about billions upon billions of public money being stolen. "It can have bizarre manifestations. I've a patient who wakes in the night screaming that the Youth League are stealing his slippers. Another raves that The Arms Deal Offsets will be found in the same hidey-hole as the Kruger Millions. "It is most worrying. Society is becoming seriously unbalanced. Those paying the taxes are becoming overstressed and disorientated. Those who should be receiving the benefits of the taxes – the underclass – are developing symptoms of irrational frenzy …" Worrying indeed. It's enough to make you need a Blue Label this early in the day. Cheers! Waiting list FORMER American Vice-President Dick Cheney has had a heart transplant. But, according to satirist Andy Borowitz, former President George W Bush remains on the hospital waiting list for a brain. Snookered AN AUSTRALIAN climbed onto a billiard table to get away from giant saltwater crocodiles that had been stalking him for three days. It happened on Dinah Island, in north Queensland, where Terry Donovan, 65, was in a fishing hut that became cut off by floodwaters. He saw four-metre saltwater crocs lurking in the waters. One lunged at a wallaby sheltering on the hut's back deck. "The first time I saw it and it saw me, it was just outside. It sank below the surface and I saw it swim under the house.I was determined I wasn't going outside again, come hell or high water.'' He was afraid that if the water rose much higher, one of them could swim in and attack him. Donovan positioned himself on the billiard table, which he packed with supplies. The water level kept rising until it was an inch or so above the nets on the billiard table pockets. Eventually he was rescued by a helicopter which came to check on him after he failed to answer his satellite phone. An unnerving experience. What if those crocs had swum in? Those saltwater critters are mean hustlers at both snooker and billiards. Recommended Stories Boom, bang! PEOPLE living in the Wisconsin town of Clintonville, in the US, have been spooked by a series of mysterious booms and bangs. Police received more than 600 calls within three days. But seismologists have now traced the mystery sound effects to a series of tiny earthquakes, so small they weren't detected at first. Wisconsin's ancient consolidated rock amplified the effect. I suppose that's a relief. Otherwise it could have been somebody like Mike Tyson or Arnie Schwarzenegger, in town with an upset tummy. |
First service
A TENNIS ball is in a bar.
Barman: "Have you been served?''
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Tailpiece
SADIE'S husband Jake has been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet his faithful wife stays by his bedside day and night.
One night Jake comes to and motions for her to come closer. He says: "My Sadie, you've been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what, Sadie?"
"What Dear?"
"I think you're bad luck."
Last word
One of the most obvious facts about grownups to a child is that they have forgotten what it is like to be a child.
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