Now it's gangster dolphins
MALE bottlenose dolphins organise themselves into gangs, according to researchers in Western Australia. The gangs guard females against other groups, though occasionally their loyalties change and they switch sides.
This is according to a team that has been studying dolphins at a place called Shark Bay. The dolphins roam hundreds of square kilometres, often encountering other dolphin groups.
These highly intelligent marine mammals live in an "open society". Rather than males guarding a specific territory, groups have a mosaic of overlapping ranges
When they encounter strangers, they form alliances and work together to defend their females. Dolphins and humans are the only mammals known to behave this way. It's very like gang culture.
That's all very well. Just so long as those dolphins don't start wearing baseball caps back-to-front.
Grrrrrrr!
MORE on the American electoral process. According to satirist Andy Borowitz , a rabid doberman pinscher jumped on stage at a Tea Party rally in Missouri and barked at the crowd for nearly 20 minutes before people realised he was not a candidate.
The dog held the crowd spellbound as he barked, growled, and frothed at the mouth, eventually receiving a standing ovation.
It became apparent that the figure on stage was a dog, only when he lunged at a man in the front row, snatching a hamburger and biting off two of his fingers.
The American electoral process is indeed complex. We are fortunate to have the analytical services of a man such as Borowitz.
Rash wagers
THE PAIN of defeat - an Englishman has had a Wales tattoo etched on his back after losing a bet that England would win the Six Nations rugby tournament.
John Adam had the Prince of Wales's feathers inscribed. Had England won, his Welsh friend James Griffiths would have had the rose of England tattooed on his back.
These seem drastic measures. Tattooes are forever. I'm confident that the Sharks will prevail in the Super-15 – but no, I'm not wagering anything in the line of tattooes. Besides, a Blue Bull,or anything of that sort,would clash with the tastefully erotic artwork that is already there.
Tiny pup
A PUPPY named Beyonce is believed to be the smallest dog in the world. She fits on a tablespoon and weights only a few ounces. She was born in an animal shelter in San Beradino, California, her mother having been taken in off the streets.
Beyonce was the last-born of a litter of five and had no heartbeat. But vets managed to get her heart started up.
Her details have been submitted to the Guinness Book of World Records and the shelter people hope she will be well enough in a few weeks to be found a good home.
But caution is advised. You adopt a tiny puppy that fits on a tablespoon. Before you know it she's grown into a gigantic Irish wolfhound.
Kiwi crisis
A NUTRITION crisis in New Zealand – they've run out of Marmite. The factory closed after last year's earthquake in Christchurch and warehouse stocks have now run out.
The manufacturers say they'll be back any day, but meanwhile the Kiwis – including the prime minister – are spreading it thin.
Does this have relevance to us? It might indeed in a week or so. A New Zealand scrum deprived of Marmite could be an absolute pushover.
Getting on
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
Tailpiece
FOUR surviving ex-presidents of the US are caught in a tornado and whirled into the air. They find themselves at the Emerald City and in the presence of the great Wizard of Oz.
"What brings you before the great Wizard of Oz?"
Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: "I've come for some courage."
"No problem! That's done! Who's next?"
George W Bush steps forward: "Well … I think I need a brain."
"Done! Who comes next before the great and powerful Oz?"
"Up steps George Bush snr: "I'm told by the American people that I need a heart."
"Consider it done" says the Wizard.
There's a silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is standing there looking around but doesn't say a word.
The Wizard: "Well, what do you want?"
Clinton: "Is Dorothy here?"
Last word
The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps.
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