Captain Cook, Friday, April 2o, 2012

WELL, here we go. We wanted to come back from Down Under with 10 points – we've come back with 11. Tomorrow is the time to ratchet things up. We've been playing like a Rolls-Royce with a loose wire somewhere. The purring class is there, and then comes the splutter. We've picked up a bonus point several times where we should have won. That includes the current fancy boys, the Stormers.

Last week against Auckland, the splutter was much in evidence in the first half, though we ran in two splendid tries from interceptions. That's encouraging, it shows our luck is turning. Those single bonus point games, luck ran against us every time. Then in the second half we turned it on in fine style. What we need is 80 minutes of non-splutter. Let's find it against Waikato.

Meanwhile, all eyes are on Sonny Bill Williams, Waikato Chiefs centre. He's an interesting character, also being New Zealand's heavyweight boxing champ. It recalls the days of Percy Hall, who also had a career in the square ring before taking up rugby big time. Percy, who played front rank for Natal, had been an all-in wrestler, Mr X, who wore a mask in the ring and never was unmasked because he was never defeated.

Then he took up rugby where his wrestling prowess saw him plucking opponents from the loose mauls – including some large All Blacks on tour – and treating them like rag dolls. It was wonderful to watch.

But boxing skills have no great advantage in rugby. They lead directly to yellow and red cards and citations. The game has changed since Kallie Knoetze boxed heavyweight and played flank for Northern Transvaal.

Sonny Bill Williams – I've often wondered if he's related to Bill Williams, of the handlebar moustache, who for many years used to tinkle the ivories and sing the most wonderfully risqué lyrics at the Edward and various other spots on the beachfront. "She's got the cutest balalaika in the Balkans …" If there is any connection, it would be nice to see Sonny Bill in the Duikers'.

Yep, he's going to be a handful, is Sonny Bill. He's got that special zip and that way of getting his pass away in the tackle. And he's a tough sonofabitch! This is going to be some contest.

Meanwhile, it's pleasing to learn that England are going to play an extra two matches in June. Apart from the three Tests, there will be matches in Kimberley and Potchefstroom against SA Barbarians sides. Hey, this is beginning to look like the full rugby tours of old where they played every union in the country in all kinds of dorps. Good stuff!

Waikato tomorrow. We've got what it takes. Lady Luck is at last running for us. This will be a humdinger, no doubt about that. On a roll, baby! See you in the Duikers'! I'll be the one making song with the Bill Williams numbers: "Whoopsy-daisy, titty-palarum, where do we go from here …"