AT LAST the boys are in the Land of the Long White Underpants. This is where we really turn it on. The stalwarts of the Florida Road rugby colloquium will have spent last night in the Thunder Bar improving our Ukrainian and discussing rugby tactics; today we will be at the Shelter for the Over-40s in full force for breakfast and battle royal with Wellington Hurricanes.
This will be a humdinger. Last week against the Brumbies we were in almost total control. It was amusing to listen to the Aussie commentators, it was as if they couldn't quite believe what was happening. That scorcher of a try by Mvovo! What a break-out by Sykes to set it up! This was simply sublime.
It's something that's been building game by game. But of course we still need to tighten up here and there. We really need to get away from pointless kicking downfield that just gives away possession. We need to get some crispness into our passing. Those long, looping passes that leave the receiver standing flat-footed – they're just too awful.
But mostly we need to learn to close down a game when we've all but won it. We blew it against the Stormers. We blew it against New South Wales. And we damn near blew it against the Brumbies. Ten points ahead and just minutes to go and we let in a try and conversion, then let them run at us again in the dying seconds. Mama mia! The gals in the Thunder Bar were so distraught they were clutching at the clientele … er, OK, let's not pursue that line. What I mean is, the guys need to maul the ball, put in the telling linekick, break their hearts in the dying minutes, not let them run at us. That's what the gals were saying in the Thunder Bar.
It was odd to watch high drama in Canberra then later be able to relax and watch the Stormers and the Pienk Bulle with not a care. The pink jersies – or "strip" as people seem to call it these days – did nothing to repeat the drilling the Bulls had dished out to Queensland. Of course, rugby doesn't work that way.
And, speaking of colours, the Lions played Canterbury Crusaders in virtually identical jersies. It possibly cost the Lions a try when skipper Josh Strauss passed the ball to a Crusader who said: "Thanks mate!" and ran in the opposite direction. (Though he didn't add insult to injury by tugging his beard as he went).
I understand these weird and wonderful colour schemes are something to do with marketing, making the game telegenic. Somebody needs to point out to the Ponytails that there's a bit of rugger involved as well.
Once more unto the breach, dear friends … The moment of truth is here. The ladies are advised, as ever, to wear strong knicker elastic. If we shoot out the streetlights in celebration today, we want to do it with meaning.
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