IT'S the Last Chance Saloon. When a side goes on one of these tours to Van Diemensland and the Land of the Long White Underpants, they can score a maximum 20 points. Come away with 10 and you're doing OK. The Sharks are on six, so today's match is make or break if we're to head anywhere near the play-offs.
We can do it. Just as we could have done it last week. What a baffling game, it almost defies analysis. Eighty percent possession in the first half, running at them in fine style. Yet down by a huge deficit at half-time. How does this happen?
It's just one of those things - like Tobruk. It happens. Our guys were a little impetuous at times in the defensive line, individuals getting ahead and leaving lateral gaps. We had no counter to their chip-kicks and grubbers. The ref made a few decisions that were bizarre, to put it charitably. And the TMO decisions almost invariably went against us. It just wasn't our day.
It's fruitless whingeing about the ref. In fact, I don't believe there are any biased or crooked refs. But a lot of them do spend 80 minutes with their head up their ass. This is a problem the rugby administrators are going to have to address because there's a lot at stake and a game can be ruined by a prima dona with a whistle. To use a cricketing metaphor, one thinks of WG Grace: "They came here to watch me bat, not to watch you umpiring!"
Glen Jackson last Friday was blowing our guys for going off their feet in the rucks. The Wellington guys were diving into the rucks like jackass penguins. He asked the TMO the wrong question when their first try was awarded: "Is there any reason I should not award this try?" – implying he'd seen the ball grounded, which he clearly had not. So the TMO – who you can be sure had not seen the ball grounded either from any of the camera angles – had no option but say: "Go ahead".
Games can turn on these things – 20-odd points on the board, totally against the run of play, and pretty soon you're at a stage where catch-up is all but impossible. Frustration sets in, tempers fray and everything just unravels. But, again, that's life.
The encouraging thing is we know we have what it takes. We've shown we can dominate, the way we did in the first half against Wellington; we can come back the way we did in the second. We just need to package things properly. And Patrick Lambie is back. The gals in the Thunder Bar are swooning already.
Avante! Here comes the moment of truth. Auckland will throw at us everything they've got. They've also got something to prove. Let's show them we've got what it takes. Stand by for jollifications in Florida Road. I can hear the knicker elastic strumming already. This could be the start of a great weekend.
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