Glass-free pubs
THE PUBS in Newport city centre, Wales, are to be glass-free on Friday and Saturday nights. Plastic cups will be used instead of glasses.
This is to stop people fighting with broken glass – a practice I had always thought was confined to Glasgow. But apparently it happens in Wales as well.
It's odd. In the Duikers' Club at King's Park the other night I bought a small bottle of wine for a lady. She had to drink it from a large plastic mug designed to hold a pint of beer. As the barman explained, if you pour in just a few dollops at a time, it's the same as drinking out of a wine glass.
But I don't think there's been an outbreak of "glassing" – as they call it in Newport and Glasgow – in the Duikers' Club. It's just the Duikers' natural sense of daintiness.
Mini-bar scores
INVESTMENT analyst Dr James Greener notes in his latest grumpy newsletter that the debate over tolls versus fuel levies to pay for Gauteng's roads has unearthed an interesting fact.
"Seemingly there is no regulatory means to earmark specific revenue for allocation to specific expenditure. All government money gets dumped into the kitty from where a separate exercise allocates and spends it.
"This therefore exposes as false those political threats and promises to impose taxes on the pleasures and enjoyments of the rich in order to compensate for the woes and hardships of the poor. So the increased duty on Johnny Walker Blue whisky cannot be used to repair a broken water pump in a rural slum. More likely the money will be used to restock the mini-bar in the presidential jet."
Getting it back
READER Brian Kennedy remarks on the planned recycling of sewage water to drinking water.
"This is the ultimate way of getting your own back."
I decide
A YOUNG lady who calls herself Missy is reminded by last week's account of Bing Crosby coming third in a "Who sounds most like Bing Crosby" competition of an incident involving psychologist Dr Wayne Dyer
Dyer, at that stage already a prolific writer, was studying for his Master's degree. The lecturer chose one of Dyer's own books for an assignment. The students were asked to write on what the author's intent was.
Dyer was the only student to fail. Amused by this, he confronted the lecturer who looked him squarely in the face and said: "I'm the lecturer and I decide what is meant."
Quite right. Dyer had no business trying to buck the system.
Tourism stunts
AN OPPOSSUM has become a star on the internet for his snowboarding skills. Named Ratatouille, he has become a celebrity in the Liberty Mountain ski resort in Pennsylvania, in the US, making slick turns steered by his tail.
He wears a colourful woolly jumper and carries his own ski pass.
That's the way to promote tourism. When are our folk going to get cracking with cane rats and aardvarks on surfboards?
Read all about it!
MORE American newspaper headlines:
· Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter
· Something went wrong in jet crash, expert says
·
· Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
· Panda mating fails; veterinarian takes over
· Miners refuse to work after death
· Juvenile court to try shooting defendant
· War dims hope for peace
· If strike isn't settled quickly, it may last awhile
· Cold wave linked to temperatures-
· Enfield (London) couple slain; police suspect homicide
· Red tape holds up new bridges
· Man struck by lightning: faces battery charge
· New study of obesity looks for larger test group
· Astronaut takes blame for gas in spacecraft
· Local high school dropouts cut in half
· Hospitals are sued by 7 foot doctors
Typhoon rips through cemetery; hundreds dead
Bumper sticker
"Is it me - or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?"
Tailpiece
He: "I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours."
She: "I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours."
Last word
The whole dream of democracy is to raise the proletarian to the level of stupidity attained by the bourgeois.
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