The Papal States and Pinetown
THOSE of us who did history at school will recall the great controversy over the temporal powers of the Pope – rule over the Papal States – as opposed to his ecclesiastical powers. This was as Italy edged toward unification in the 19th century.
Who would have thought that the controversy would continue in the Pinetown motor licensing bureau? This fellow tells me he was there the other day and scanned a notice board describing all the licences on offer: Light Motor Vehicle, Heavy Duty ... etc. Then: "Temporal Licence".
"You mean 'Temporary Licence'," he told the clerk as he got to the counter.
"No, Temporal Licence."
"What's that got to do with the unification of Italy?"
"Excuse me sir, I'll call my supervisor."
"No sir, that's the right word," says the supervisor. "Temporal Licence. Why you ask when you're applying for Heavy Duty? Why this about Italy?"
"I'm saying the Temporal Licence is supposed to be the Temporary Licence."
"Oh yes, Temporal Licence very temporary. But you're applying for Heavy Duty. What is the problem?"
Why niggle? Pax vobiscum!
Dog shoots man
AN AMERICAN is recovering in hospital after being shot in the buttocks with a 12-bore shotgun by his dog.
It happened in the state of Utah where the 46-year-old – not named – was duck hunting in the north end of the Great Salt Lake. He was in a canoe with a friend when he left the boat to place duck decoys, leaving his shotgun behind.
The dog was jumping about with excitement and stepped on the shotgun, which discharged, scoring a bullseye as his owner stooped to place the decoys.
In hospital they removed 27 birdshot pellets from the fellow's backside.
That's some dog. I wonder if he's taught his owner to retrieve as well as place decoys?
Rugby fracas
SOME say it's a disgrace to French rugby. Some say it's a touching case of family loyalty and affection.
International eighth man Imanol Harinordoquay was playing for Biarritz against Bayonne when he got into a punch-up with Bayonne flanker Jean-Jo Marmouyet.
Next thing Harinorduquoy's Dad was also on the field, mixing it on his son's behalf, until he got tackled out of the game by Bayonne fly-half Benjamin Boyet.
The match – a needle encounter in the Basque region - came to a halt while order was restored. French rugby officials describe the incident as "deplorable" and "an outrage." (But they should see the way some of the parents carry on at school matches here in KwaZulu-Natal).
Anyway, it made great TV viewing. Wholesome family fare.
Fantasy ride
ST CLEMENTS rides again. As we canter into the Christmas season, this coming Monday's arty drinks and dins get-together in Musgrave Road will feature the launching of Pieter Scholtz's novella, The Tree Whisperer.
I've had a squint already. It's an autobiographical fantasy with locales that range from the Ixopo hill country to the Dlinza forest, at Eshowe, to the Durban beachfront.
It explores the mystery of existence, tapping into Zen, the Church and a kind of pantheistic mysticism. Characters include a leprechaun, a tokoloshe, a nun and a winsome girl of great perspicacity and mystery.
It's a beguiling read. What happens between Pieter and this girl?
I'm not going to tell you. (You have to read it for yourself. Nor am I going to tell you if it was the butler wot done it).
Super-prang
A MULTIPLE car pile-up in Japan created scrap metal from vehicles with a previous value of about R25 million.
Twelve of the 14 cars involved in the accident near Shimonoseki were "supercars" - eight Ferraris, two Mercedes, a Lamborghini and a Nissan GTR.
Astonishingly, casualties were light. Ten people were taken to hospital with minor injuries.
But finances took a hammering. All the cars were write-offs and R25 million in car technology doesn't translate too well into scrap metal.
Tailpiece
SHE ASKED what he was doing on the computer. He said he was looking for cheap flights.
"I love you!" she exclaimed and started hugging and kissing him. One thing led to another ...
It's odd because she'd never shown any interest in darts before.
Last word
It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
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