Is this Hlaudi's moment?
AS INAUGURATION Day comes closer in the US, it seems the Donald Trump transition team are having difficulty organising showbiz folk to perform and entertain at the ceremony at the White House.
So far they have opera star Jackie Evancho and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. They also have a long list of people who won't perform.
This is no doubt more than a little galling to a man with a background in casinos and beauty pageants, where there's never been any difficulty getting together troupes of glamour and glitter.
But rescue now comes from an unanticipated quarter, according to the New Yorker. Russian President Vladimir Putin has agreed to perform.
"In a brief statement from the Kremlin, Putin said: 'I will be most delighted to perform for my comrade.'
"The choice of Putin raised eyebrows in Washington, since the Russian, while famous for invading neighbouring countries and imprisoning political opponents, is not particularly well known as a singer.
"Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway pushed back against such criticism during an appearance on CNN: 'If we limited ourselves to people who had talent and experience, that would disqualify half of our cabinet,' she said.
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"Putin's choice of musical material also stirred controversy, as politicians on both sides of the aisle questioned his plan to perform the Russian national anthem."
This is, of course, more from satirist Andy Borowitz. But are we not becoming a little weary of this negativism? Is it not time people explored practical ways to make a resounding success of this inauguration?
It ought not to be beyond the wit of the Trump transition team to put together a Croupiers' Chorus that would wow the whole world. Perhaps we can offer some assistance from this corner of Africa.
Hlaudi Motsoeneng seems to be at a bit of a loose end these days. Yet, since the 90% local content edict on SABC, he has immediate access to throngs of kwaito, maskandi, and boeremusiek artistes. In very short time he could put together something for the White House that they'd never forget.
On a roll
HUNDREDS of Aussies gathered outside the federal parliament in Canberra recently to roll down the lawns.
The mass tumble was organised as a protest against plans to build a 2.6m security barrier that would block public access to the grassy space.
Tumble organiser Lester Yao told the BBC he was sure the architect who designed the parliamentary complex had intended the public to enjoy the grounds freely.
The proposed barrier would be to deter terrorists. It has nothing to do with kangaroos.
Frozen dummy
POLICE in upstate New York broke into a parked car to rescue what looked like an unresponsive elderly woman wearing what looked like an oxygen mask, who passersby feared had frozen to death.
But after smashing the window of the Subaru in Hudson around 8:30am. officers found the "woman" was actually jan extremely realistic life-sized mannequin, according to Huffington Post.
While they were wondering what it all meant, the vehicle's owner later returned, furious about the damage to the car. It turned out he was sales manager for a medical training aid manufacturer, and that the oxygen mask-wearing mannequin he'd strapped into the passenger seat was a CPR training device.
Angry and vulgar words were uttered, according to the Hudson Police Department, but it remains adamant that the cops acted correctly, issuing a statement: "Anyone who places a realistic mannequin in a locked car in sub-zero temperatures will have the window broken.
Catscan
A CANADIAN woman tried to smuggle her cat into New Zealand in her handbag but was foiled when its presence was picked up in an X-ray scan at the airport in Auckland. Border agents found her four-year-old cat, Bella, in the handbag.
The woman claimed she had told a ticketing agent in Canada about her plans for Bella, but the Kiwi officials didn't believe her and said it made no difference anyway. Undeclared cats could bring in diseases and exotic ticks. The woman was put on a flight home, handbag, cat and all.
Such silliness. As anyone knows, only Yorkshire terriers may be carried in women's handbags. Cats should be sedated and worn about the neck as a stole.
Tailpiece
THE proctologist quit his speciality. It gave him tunnel vision.
Last word
Like its politicians and its wars, society has the teenagers it deserves.
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