What the Dickens!
THE British Supreme Court is a bit of a disappointment to those of us who watched live coverage on TV of the constitutional case in which the government is appealing against a high court ruling that Prime Minister Theresa May can't herself trigger the Brexit process, it has to go through parliament.
The disappointment? They look like a bunch of Yanks – 11 judges in business suits, scores of QCs, also in business suits. Not a gown a wig or a starched bib among the lot of them.
We traditionalists yearn for the days of the Law Lords (some of them the same individuals who are today on the Supreme Court bench) who were a top-notch, highly qualified sub-committee of the House of Lords; their boss, the Lord Chancellor, lolling on the Woolsack – a large cushion stuffed with wool - in the House when it was in session, also playing the role of Speaker. Supreme Court – the very name sounds American.
Gone are the ancient traditions, the colour. Dickens must be turning in his grave.
Misunderstanding
OF COURSE, we too have a supreme court but nobody would mistake it for an American one. The judges and counsel are all of them magnificently gowned.
There was the occasion years ago in the criminal sessions in Umtata when a woman stood up in the public gallery and began addressing the Bench in voluble Xhosa. The interpreter rushed across, hissing at her to sit down and keep quiet.
"What was that about?" asked the judge.
"Milord, it was a misunderstanding."
"But what did she say?"
"Milord, she wanted to know where you bought your red blanket."
Togged-out dog
POLICE in Seattle, Washington state, in the US, picked up a small dog this week wearing blue pants and a yellow sweater.
The dog, apparently a Jack Russell-Chihuahua cross, had no identification – but was furious and snappy toward the fuzz who caught him.
He's been taken to an animal hospital and the cops have put his photo on the Twittersphere, hoping to trace an owner. He is said to have calmed down somewhat.
But so far all they've had has been a flood of return tweets highly critical of the yellow/blue colour combination – "no wonder the pup was furious and snappy" – according to the Huffington Post.
Of course, any Jack Russell-Chihuahua cross would be outraged at being made to appear a fashion slouch.
Macaw mugshot
"A-A-A-A-RK … pieces of eight, pieces of eight …" Still in the US, an Oregon man has had his police mugshot taken with his macaw parrot on his shoulder.
Craig Buckner showed up at the Washington County courthouse for violating a release order in connection with multiple misdemeanors, local newspaper the Smoking Gun reports. He thought he would just be ordered to turn himself in and then be free to leave, and it wouldn't take long.
So he brought along his pet macaw, named Bird, and had Bird wait for him in a tree in the courthouse yard.
But instead the judge ordered that Buckner be taken into custody. Then he got worried about the four-year-old parrot.
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Deputy Shoana McKelvey, who took Buckner into custody, tried to get Bird out of the tree, but the macaw refused to budge from the branch for anyone but Buckner.
McKelvey let Buckner have access to Bird while he found a friend to look after him. Bird was even allowed to sit on Buckner's shoulder for the booking photo.
Eventually, a friend was able to come and take Bird off Buckner's hands until he can resolve his court matters.
A statement by the sheriff's office said the consideration shown Bruckner was an affirmation of its core value of doing the right thing. They probably meant "macaw value".
Tailpiece
TWO teenagers are busted for smoking pot in a city park. They're taken to the police station, where the sergeant tells them they're entitled to one phone call.
A while later a man comes into the station.
"I presume you're these kids' lawyer."
"Heck no, I'm here to deliver a pizza."
Last word
The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office.
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