Monday, December 26, 2016

The Idler, Thursday, December 15, 2016

Beaver goes beserk

YULETIDE story. A beaver wandered into a dollar store in Charlotte Hall, Maryland, in the US. CCTV cameras picked it up browsing what was on offer in the lower shelves.

It looked carefully at the Christmas trees on display – then suddenly went beserk and started vandalising everything in sight.

The St Mary's County sheriff was called and the beaver was captured and taken to a wildlife rehabilitation centre.

The sheriff's office is working on the theory, according to the Washington Post, that he was infuriated to discover that the Christmas trees were artificial.

Yes, beavers insist on a traditional Christmas.

Navigational freak

NOW here's something. A reader sends in details of an astonishing navigational feat of long ago.

The passenger steamer SS Warrimoo was quietly knifing its way through the waters of the mid-Pacific on its way from Vancouver to Australia. The navigator had just finished working out a star fix and brought the master, Captain John Phillips, the result. The Warrimoo's position was Lattitude 0º 31' North  and Longitude 179º 30' West. The date was December 31, 1899.

"D'you know what this means?" First Mate Payton broke in, "We're only a few miles from the intersection of the Equator and the International Date Line."
 
Captain Phillips was prankish enough to take full advantage of the opportunity for achieving the navigational freak of a lifetime.  He called his navigators to the bridge to check and double-check the ships position.
 
He changed course slightly so as to bear directly on his mark. Then he adjusted the engine speed. The calm weather and clear night worked in his favour.
 
At midnight the SS Warrimoo lay on the Equator at exactly the point where it crossed the International Date Line. The consequences of this bizarre position were many: The bows of the ship were in the southern hemisphere and in the middle of summer.  The stern was in the northern hemisphere and in the middle of winter.
 
The date in the after part of the ship was December 31, 1899. Forward it was January 1, 1900.  This ship was therefore not only in two different days, two different months, two different years and two different seasons but in two different centuries - all at the same time.


Navigational niftiness

 

THE above recalls the Royal Navy ship that radioed the Admiralty with its midnight position: Longitude 0 º. Lattitude 0 º. Time: 00.00. Speed in knots: 0. Course: None.

 

They would have been in trouble with their lordships of the Admiralty for this prank, except that the information happened to be accurate, though it took some nifty navigation to get to the intersection of the Equator and 0 º longitude, then switch off the engines.

 

Old families

 

ON REMEMBRANCE Day, November 11, James Browne, of Amanzimtoti, told us of a grave he and his wife discovered on a pilgrimage to the World War I graves in France. It was of Helga Alexander Wettergreen, son of Edmund and Emma Struckman (nee Olsen), also of Toti.

 

Those names don't quite tie up – perhaps he was a son from a previous marriage – but anyway, Keith Worthington, of Malvern, now seeks information on the Struckman and Wettergreen families.

 

Keith is writing a book, The History of the Durban Christadelphian Ecclesia, which includes many old Durban families, including these two. But he has very little information on them.

 

So if there are any Wettergreens, Struckmans or Olsens out there who can assist - or anyone with information about the families – he would be grateful if they could contact him at kworthington@absamail.co.za or 031-4646737.

Tailpiece

A WOMAN and her 12-year-old son are riding in a taxi in Detroit.  It's raining and the prostitutes are gathered under  under awnings.

"Mom," said the boy, "What are all those women doing?"

"They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replies. 

The taxi driver turns around and says:L "C'mon lady, why don't you tell him the truth?  They're hookers, boy!  They have sex with men for money." 
  The little boy's eyes widen and he says: "Is that true Mom?"

His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers: "Yes."

"Mom, if those women have babies, what happens to them?" 
"Most of them become taxi drivers."


 

Last word

If there's anything unsettling to the stomach, it's watching actors on television talk about their personal lives.

Marlon Brando

 

No comments:

Post a Comment