Singapore strongman
LEE Kuan Yew, Singapore's first prime minister, who died this
week aged 91, was not exactly a poster boy for libertarianism.
He imposed discipline. He cracked down hard on layabouts and
malcontents. Chewing gum was banned. Drop a stompie on the
pavement and you'd go to jail. Long hair in men was banned (Too
bad for the Bee Gees and Led Zeppelin). Express yourself through
graffiti and you'd get caned.
But he took the place by the scruff of the neck and transformed
it into an Asian Tiger. Singapore had been a colonial backwater,
sporadically convulsed by rioting between its Chinese, Malay and
Indian ethnic groups.
No more. Lee promoted a work ethic. Jobs were created, people
were too busy to squabble. He took the poor out of the slums and
put them in apartment blocks. But they had to work.
Singaporean shipping became a world powerhouse. Similarly
with high- tech industry and banking. The government created the
space for those who wanted to work.
Lee was tough and ruthless. But he operated transparently and
within the law (he was a British-trained barrister).
I once heard him being interviewed. When it was put to him that
many considered him authoritarian, Lee just chuckled.
"Yes, I'm authoritarian. And every five years I go to the people and
they ask for more." It went on for three decades – election after
election that Lee won.
We look on somewhat wistfully. Which island state has the more
resonance here – Singapore or Cuba?
Red cards
LET'S be honest, the weather rescued us last Saturday. You
can't hope to play and win, one man short, against a team like the
Waikato Chiefs in normal handling conditions.
That horrendous downpour and gale-force wind narrowed the gap.
The Sharks were able to hang in there grimly and pull it off. Epic
stuff – but we wouldn't have done it in normal conditions. Not one
man short for most of the game.
Which brings us to this wretched question of red cards. Yes,
thuggery has to be stamped out. In a physical game like rugby, it
can be allowed no traction.
But does the match have to be castrated? Do the many thousands
of fans have to watch something second-rate? Fifteen men versus
14 (or in last Saturday's case 14 against 13)?
Punish the transgressors by all means. Give them heavy fines and
long suspensions. But let somebody come on off the bench. Let
the game continue as a true contest.
The IRB really need to think this one through.
Numbers
SOME number crunching that perhaps explains why South African
Airways is in such financial distress.
QANTAS (Australian) has 32 500 employees serving a total of 252
aircraft - 129 employees per aircraft
American Airlines has 87 897 employees serving a total of 618
aircraft - 142 employees per aircraft
Delta Airlines has 106 216 employees serving a total of 722
aircraft - 147 employees per aircraft
British Airways has 36 832 employees serving a total of 238
aircraft - 154 employees per aircraft
United Airlines has 115 149 employees serving a total of 710
aircraft - 162 employees per aircraft
South African Airways has 55 500 employees serving a total of 58
aircraft - 957 employees per aircraft.
Hey, but those 957 pump the tyres in fine style!
Sterling stuff
A READER who calls himself Hughbythesea supplies another
adaptation of the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme.
Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
Jill came down with half-a-crown,
She was no parson's daughter.
Tailpiece
THE 10 senior members of the board of directors are called
one by one into the chairman's office. Eventually only a newly
appointed junior director is left sitting outside. Then he is called in.
The chairman and the 10 other directors are seated round a table.
He is invited to join them.
The chairman asks in a stern voice: "Have you ever
had sex with Mrs. Foyt, my secretary?"
"Oh, no sir, positively not!".
"Are you absolutely sure?"
"Honestly, I've never been close enough to even touch her!"
"You'd swear to that?"
"Yes, I swear I've never had sex with Mrs. Foyt anytime,
anywhere."
"Good. Then you can fire her!"
Last word
When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialled in my absence and
sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my
absence.
Brendan Behan
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