Gaudeamus igitur ...
THE totally senseless row in Cape Town over the Rhodes statue
(and here in Durban over King George V) recalls the lines of Peter
Blum.
Hier het ons stetjoes, elkeen soos 'n mens:
ou Afduim-Murray, Hofmeyr met sy pens;
hier's Jan van Riebeeck, bakgat aangetrek
in sy plus-fours; Cecil Rhodes wat jou wys
wa' die reisiesbaan lê; en vorie Paalmint-hys
ou Mies Victoria met ha' klein spanspek.
(Here we have statues, each one like a person:
Old missing thumb Murray, Hofmeyr with his tummy;
Here's Jan van Riebeeck, togged out splendid
in his plus-fours; Cecil Rhodes who shows you
where the racecourse lies; and before the Parliament-house
Old Miss Victoria with her small musk melon.)
That surely is the attitude to have toward statues. In Maritzburg
during rag week the students would give Sir Theophilus Shepstone
a tennis racquet. Queen Victoria would get a bra, plus a quart of
beer balanced on her outstretched hand.
Those UCT students take themselves altogether too seriously. As
for the fellow who smeared faeces, he surely has problems going
beyond the fact that he's still a student at age of 30.
Gaudeamus igitur,
Juvenes dum sumus;
Not at age 30. But dumb all right.
Bill Payn
WHOOPS, mea culpa! Last week we misspelled the name of the
legendary Bill Payn, mistakenly putting an "e" on the end of his
name. (Google is partly to blame – they do the same).
In contrition, I bring you some more facts about Payn. He was
a legendary schoolmaster at DHS, where he taught Latin and
English. He could actually converse in Latin (though I suppose a
difficulty would have been finding somebody to talk to).
He fought in two world wars – on the Western Front in Europe in
World War I and in the Western Desert in World War II, where he
won the Military Medal for carrying a wounded comrade to safety
while under heavy enemy fire. He was later taken prisoner-of-war.
A giant of a man, he he played rugby for the Springboks and
represented Natal at rugby, boxing, athletics, baseball and cricket.
I quote from the eulogy delivered at Payn's funeral in 1959 by
none other than Izak van Heerden, the legendary Natal rugby
coach of the 1960s, who also taught at DHS and served with him
in World War II.
"Bill's fabulous feats in so many spheres and his courage on the
field of battle made him a legendary, if not saintly, figure among
us all ...To have been his comrade in arms and also a fellow POW
was an ennobling elevation from the horror of war ...
"It is perhaps incredible that in such a robust frame of rugged
grandeur there should be enshrined a soul so sensitive to the
magic of words and the great beauty of the English language
which Bill not only mastered but enriched ..."
Van Heerden was no slouch either in stringing together a few
words.
Controlled war
ESPECIALLY interesting is Izak van Heerden's take on Payn's
philosophy of rugby.
"He said of rugby: 'Why men love to play rugby is, I feel sure, that
it is the simulacrum of war as waged in the mediaeval days, when
battles were marked by the two cardinal virtues of courtesy and
courage' ...
"He worshipped rugger for companionship among friends, in
rendering opportunities for courtesy and generosity to opponents,
as well as camaraderie to strangers."
Who can argue with that?
Not Confucius
FRED Haupt sends in a list of things Confucius did NOT say:
• Man who wants pretty nurse must be patient.
• Lady who goes camping with man must beware of evil intent.
• Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
• Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
• Wise man not keep sledgehammer and slow computer in
same room.
• Man who live in glass house should change clothes in
basement.
.
Did Confucius really not say those things? Maybe he should have.
Tailpiece
Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road.
They pass each other.
Woman yells out of window: "Pig!"
Man yells out of window: Bitch!"
Man rounds next curve.
Man crashes into huge pig in middle of road. Crunches car.
Thought for the day: If men would just listen ...
Last word
An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable
invented to make them laugh.
Will Rogers
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