This involved plot
LAST of the Summer Wine was a long-running British TV saga
set in the Yorkshire village of Holmfirth. For 38 years its personal
intrigue, drama and comedy kept people enthralled, not just in
Britain but around the world. For 25 of those years Juliette Kaplan
played the part of Pearl, the battleaxe Yorkshire lady in the beret
and glasses.
Ee bah goom! A reet 'arridan that oon. As they say: "Yorkshire
born, Yorkshire bred. Strong in arm, thick in 'ead."
Except that Juliette is anything but a harridan – she's bouncy,
cheeky and full of fun. Not a trace of a Yorkshire brogue – she's an
actress after all and can imitate just about anything – and in fact
she was born in Bournemouth, Hampshire, and spent her early
years in South Africa, in Port Elizabeth.
How she comes to be presently at the Oyster Box, in Umhlanga
Rocks, is a tale as worthy in its intrigue and its twists and turns as
anything in Last of the Summer Wine.
Juliette has a half-brother in Durban. Until 20 years ago, she was
unaware of the existence of local businessman and former city
councillor Laurie Kaplan. He was semi-aware of her existence from
the time his dad showed him a newspaper photograph of British
actress Juliette Kaplan and said she was probably his daughter.
Juliette's dad was a South African who married her mother in
England. Juliette was born in 1939 and the family moved to Port
Elizabeth just as World War II broke out (her dad was in the navy).
But the parents divorced when Juliette was three. She had her
early schooling in Port Elizabeth until her mother took her to New
York when she was about nine – "that was what moulded me" –
then back to England where she studied drama and eventually
married.
Meanwhile, her dad had remarried without their knowing and
raised another family, Laurie among them. A generation on and
Laurie's daughter Lisa – a highly successful dancer who now
lives in America – found herself in London, where she decided to
pursue the legend of her actress aunt.
Through the actors' union, Equity, she got Juliette's telephone
number and gave her a call.
"One evening I got this call absolutely out of the blue from this girl
saying she thought she was my niece. Surprise is hardly the word.
So I said: 'Well, you'd better come round', which she did. And half
an hour later there she was sitting on the couch chatting to my
two daughters, her cousins, as if they'd known each other all their
lives.
"Lisa's a highly intelligent girl – quite unlike her dad, he radiates
unintelligence – and I took to her right away.
"Next thing we phoned Laurie in Durban. His first words to me
were: 'Thank God I'm not the eldest any more.'"
Juliette came on a visit with one of her daughters and the families
clicked. She's been a regular visitor ever since.
"I'm absolutely in love with KwaZulu-Natal. I love my family here,
I love all the people, I love the game parks and the animals. I love
the sea (at 76 she's a keen snorkeler). I try to come out as often as
I can."
This is the last of the summer tshwala.
At last!
GASP! At last they got it together. And in fine style. Most pleasing
was the way the Sharks drove them back in the tackles. Also the
quality of our rucking and mauling. And those driving mauls from
the line-outs. Lovely stuff!
Then in the Six Nations an absolutely pulsating match between
England and Scotland. The Scots at one stage seemed to have
it in the bag – that would have been a turn-up for the books -
but 'twas not to be.
And Wales beating Ireland, begorrah, indeed to goodness!
England, Ireland and Wales now level-pegging. Pressure cooker
stuff in the northern hemisphere. Roll on the World Cup!
Tailpiece
"WHERE'S my SUNDAY paper?" It didn't get delivered."
"Ma'am, today is Saturday. The Sunday paper gets printed tonight and delivered
tomorrow, on Sunday."
Long pause. Then: "Well, blow me down! That explains why there was no one at
church either."
Last word
If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an
apostrophe with fur.
Doug Larson
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