Colour or shape?
AN EXTRAORDINARY debate has sprung up among the celebrity Twitterati as to
the colour of a dress posted on the internet by singer Caitlin McNeil
The dress encases a most shapely derriere but the tweeters are concerned not
with shape but with the barred colours of the dress..
Kim Kardashian tweeted: "What color is that dress? I see white & gold. Kanye
sees black & blue, who is color blind?"
Taylor Swift said: "I don't understand this odd dress debate and I feel like it's
a trick somehow. I'm confused and scared. PS it's OBVIOUSLY BLUE AND
BLACK."
Actress Julianne Moore said: "What's the matter with u guys, it's white and gold."
Now a university boffin says the difference of opinion is caused by the way our
brains process what we see.
"The phenomenon of colour constancy means your brain will adjust the colour of
an object depending on its surroundings or illumination," says Ashley Wood, a
lecturer and optometrist at Cardiff University.
"So if there's a lot of blue in the environment, for example, the brain will subtract
blue from the image your eye sees."
"There's also the process of colour adaptation, where the colour you perceive is
affected by what you have previously been looking at."
The dispute could be caused by a combination of the two effects, he says.
It's odd but even Ashley Wood doesn't comment on the exquisite shapeliness of
that derriere – what the less refined among us might call a "nice piece of ass".
Sorry, I can't remember what colour the dress was.
Visa issue?
TWO llamas caused chaos as they darted through the traffic pursued by men
with lassoos.
No, these weren't Home Affairs officials concerned that the Tibetan leader had
entered in spite of not being granted a visa. In fact it was America, in a place
called Sun City near Phoenix. Arizona, where the llamas had escaped from a
zoo. It took an hour to recapture them. And, of course, the spelling is different.
As Ogden Nash reminds us:
The one-L lama, he's a priest
The two-L llama, he's a beast
And I would bet a silk pyjama
There isn't any three-L lllama.
Chaos
MOTIVATIONAL speaker Sarita Mathur is so aghast at recent
events in Parliament that she has penned a few lines.
Chaos in parliament
The Speaker loses her cool,
Calling Malema a cockroach ,
She didn't stop at fool .
Baleka Mbete was forced to retract
And apologies were due.
With remote jamming and no access to information
What is South Africa coming to?
Addendum
READER Ismail Kathrada says there's an addendum to last week's alertness
test involving people getting on and off a bus in New York City.
"By the time they got to Philadelphia station, there was not a single person on
the bus. How can this be?
"Every one of those passengers was married."
Tailpiece
Four fellows have been going on the same golfing trip to St Andrews for many
years.
Two days before the group is to leave, John's wife puts her foot down and
tells him he isn't going. John's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what
can they do?
Two days later the three get to St Andrews only to find John sitting at the bar
with four drinks set up.
"Wow John, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into
letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since last night. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my
living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over
my eyes and asked: 'Guess who?'" I pulled her hands off, and there she was,
wearing a nightie.
"She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles
and rose petals all over. Well, she'd been reading Fifty Shades of Grey... and
on the bed she had handcuffs and ropes.
"She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did. And then she
said: 'Do whatever you want!'"
"So... here I am."
Last word
Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian; wine and tarragon make it French.
Sour cream makes it Russian; lemon and cinnamon make it Greek. Soy
sauce makes it Chinese; garlic makes it good.
Alice May Brock
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