Those match officials
HELL hath no fury like a woman Sharks supporter. Anne Pohl is incensed by the
debacle at Loftus last weekend.
"Some 32-year-old Pretoria advocate is allowed to ref the match. Really!
There was Rohan Hoffman from Australia as the assistant ref – why wasn't he given
the match?
"It appears the TMO is the vice-chairman of the Bulls Rugby Referees Society
Really? He couldn't see the forward pass or the knock-on at the end of the match
which allowed the Bulls two tries that shouldn't have been but he could see the
knock-on that went straight through Odwa's hands.
"I feel very sorry for the Sharks. Year in and year out, they get the most shocking
decisions against them. It looks to me as if they get penalised just for being on the
field.
"Then I come to Victor Matfield, King of Loftus, who got away with the most
astounding things. Playing Bismarck off the ball, standing in an offside position and
so it went on. Disgraceful and an embarrassment to South African rugby.
"Well, I've had my little tantrum and the score still hasn't changed but at least we can
say it like it is."
More is nog 'n dag, Anne. Better things tomorrow. Frans Steyn and JP Pietersen are
back. And the match officials are drawn from the Western Province Wine Tasters'
Society, the Friends of Table Mountain and the Kaapse Klotse. No hint whatever of
home town bias.
Irish ous
AFTER watching last weekend's England-Ireland match, Professor
Brian Kearney thinks the Irish have missed a trick.
"Given that the English team are sponsored by O2, which they
display on their jersies, the Irish could respond by highlighting
many of their players.
"O'Connell could be O1, O'Brien O2a, O'Driscoll O3, O'Brien O4,
O'Donnell O5 and so on.
"If the Kearneys returned to their original Gaelic name, they would
be O'Cearnaigh O6."
These Irish ous.
Bail-out
WHAT is this Greek bail-out thing that is causing such convulsions in the EU?
Here is an explanation for the numerically challenged layman.
It's a slow day in a little Greek Village. The rain is beating down and the
streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody
lives on credit.
On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village. He
stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the proprietor
he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs to pick one to spend the night.
The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked
upstairs, grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the
butcher.
The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to
the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier
of feed and fuel.
The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks
bill at the taverna.
The publican slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar,
who has provided services on credit.
The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the €100 note.
The hotelier puts the €100 note back on the counter.
At that moment the traveller comes back down the stairs, picks up the €100
note, says he's changed his mind and leaves town.
No one has produced anything. No one has earned anything. But the whole
village is now out of debt and looking to the future with optimism.
That's how the bail-out package works.
Surprise selection
CAN this be true? They say that, looking for a breakthrough in the current ODI
World Cup, the England selectors have decided to open the batting in the next
match with Geoffrey Boycott's grandmother.
Frisky whisky
OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties: "Love makes the world go
round but whisky makes it go round twice as fast."
Tailpiece
A TOURIST is sitting in a bar in Sweden. An attractive blonde sits down next to him.
"Hello," he says. "Do you speak English."
"Oh, I not speak much English."
"How much?"
"Two hundred kroner."
Last word
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Jean-Paul Sartre
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