Kwambonambi cracks it
SOME weeks ago we discussed the coded message found attached to the skeletal leg of a carrier pigeon that had died in a chimney in Surrey, England, some 70 years ago during World War II, apparently on its way to the cipher centre at Bletchley Park.
British codebreakers have been unable to decipher the message. They say they need the code book to do that. The message – now released on the internet - consists of 27 five-letter code groups.
I decided to bounce it off the Kwambonambi Country Club, whose members are expert at such things. They came back quick as a flash.
As I'd suspected from the start, it was a message from Hitler to Churchill: "Ja-vell-no-fine Vinnie, ze Folies Bergere goot enuff but I vant to see ze Vindmill also. Vot you say ve stop ziss silliness unt go kick ass in Russia?"
This needs to be thoroughly cross-checked and verified, of course. We don't want to send the historians off on a wild goose chase.
Heroic draw
STIRRING stuff down in Adelaide. What application, what guts and what a Test debut for Faf du Plessis, as well as those who partnered him. This will go down as an epic of cricket.
It will also further puzzle the non cricket-playing nations. For the Americans and the Europeans, a match that lasts five days is difficult enough to grasp. A heroic draw is simply beyond their comprehension.
For the cricket-playing nations, it underlines yet again that five-day Test cricket is the purest, the least predictable and the most thrilling form of the game.
Sky's the limit
A CHINESE construction company plans to build the world's tallest skyscraper in just 90 days. Sky City, at Changsha, in Hunan province, will be 838m high. It will have 220 floors and a floor area of a million square metres.
An artist's impression shows a remarkable resemblance to the Burj Khalifa in Dubai – currently the highest building in the world – whose steel and glass structure pokes into the desert sky like a serrated bayonet. It's not surprising to learn that some of the Burj Khalifa team will work on the Sky City project.
But don't think this is the end of the "world's tallest" contest. The Burj Khalifa has contingency design to go up higher if any other building should challenge its position.
Some would call this a high-tech engineering contest. Some would call it a playground piddling contest.
March of science
SCIENTISTS have discovered that chimpanzees and orang-utans can experience a mid-life crisis just as humans do.
A study of 508 captive chimpanzees and orang-utans from around the world found the animals' sense of well-being was highest in youth and old age, but dipped in middle age.
The research has been conducted by the University of Warwick, in England. How they went about it is not clear.
Chimpanzees and orang-utans don't buy flash sportscars as they approach middle age. They don't wear speedos on the beach, they don't wear modish clothes and bling. They might well take a mistress or two – it's difficult to tell with chimps and orang-utans – but they don't seem to get divorced.
Nevertheless, the chaps at Warwick University are no doubt on to all this. The march of science is relentless.
Past support
OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-40s: "I'm getting a boob reduction. And I'd like to thank Playtex, Wonderbra and all who have supported me in the past …"
Tailpiece
A TRAFFIC officer sees a car puttering along at 22 km/h. He pulls it over. In the car are a young woman driver and five old ladies. The old ladies are wide-eyed and white as sheets.
"Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit. What's the problem?"
"Ma'am, you weren't speeding but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger."
"Slower than the speed limit? No, I was doing the speed limit exactly – 22 kays an hour. It's there on that sign.
"Ma'am, that sign says it's Route 22, it's not the speed limit. But before I let you go: Is everyone in the car OK? These other ladies look terribly shaken about something."
"Oh, they'll be alright in a minute. They didn't enjoy it on Route 246 that we just came off."
Last word
Hell is full of musical amateurs.
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