The seemingly impossible
STIRRING deeds on the sportsfield. Down Under in Perth, South Africa recover from a seemingly impossible position on the first day of the Third Test (Faf du Plessis again) to post a near-respectable total. Then the pacemen go high voltage and skittle the Aussies. Then the batsmen catch fire and put us in a seemingly impregnable position with two days still to play.
But with the emphasis on "seemingly". This is Test cricket, the real thing. Anything can happen. But stirring indeed.
Then at Twickenham England come out of nowhere to trounce the All Blacks, proving yet again that 15 determined men can, by playing rugby with guts and focus for 80 minutes, achieve the seemingly impossible.
Ah yes, the sacred turf of Twickers. The fortunes of war, the mediaeval spirit.
What a great weekend of sport it was.
Worth a bet
BLANKETS on the bed in December. Have we ever had weather more weird? It's worth putting on a couple of bob with the bookies for a White Christmas in Durban. What would you get? A million to one?
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
Evening classes
AN ORGANISATION known as Wicoe has announced a two-day course of evening classes for men. It runs like this:
Day One
· How to fill ice cube trays – Step by step guide with slide presentation.
· Toilet rolls – do they grow on the holders? – Round table discussion.
· Differences between laundry basket and floor. – Practising with hamper (pictures and graphics).
· Dishes and silverware. Do they levitate/fly to kitchen sink or dishwasher? – Discussion among a panel of experts.
· Losing the remote control – Helpline and support groups.
· Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down and screaming. – Open forum.
Day Two
· Empty milk cartons; do they belong in the fridge or the bin? – Group discussion and role play.
· Health watch; bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health. – PowerPoint presentation.
· Real men ask for directions when lost. – Real life testimonial from the one man who did.
· Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks? - Driving simulation.
· Living with adults; basic differences between your mother and your wife. – Online class and role playing.
· How to be the ideal shopping companion. – Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.
· Remembering important dates and calling when you're going to be late. - Bring your calendar or personal diary arranger to class.
· Getting over it, learning to live with being wrong all the time. - Individual counsellors available.
Wicoe stands for Women In Charge Of Everything. There's something very sinister about this.
Two ticklers
TWO ITEMS in last week's Mercury tickled reader Brian Kennedy.
"The headline 'Will driverless cars ever hit the road?' made me think that I hope that is all they will hit.
"The second was an advert about World Aids Day. It was placed by the KZN Department of Sport and Recreation."
Stripey horse?
YOU DON'T really expect to see a zebra trotting down the road on Staten Island, New York. But that's just what office workers and shoppers did see one morning last week.
The zebra was accompanied on its jaunt by a small pony. Then a group of guys arrived with lassoes and caught them both. It seems they had escaped from a zoo.
But things are not always what they seem. It might actually have been two ponies, one of them wearing a football shirt.
Fusion folk
MUSIC at St Clement's tonight. Zimbabwean group Tanga Pasi pay another visit with their unique fusion of jazz, folk, rock, Kalanga rhythms and traditional Ndebele harmonies. These guys are good.
Tailpiece
MICK and Paddy are reading headstones in a churchyard. Mick: "Good Lord! Here's a bloke who was 152!" Paddy: "What's his name?" Mick:"Miles from London." |
Last word
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
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