It's the Silly Season
AUSTRALIAN Prime Minister Julia Gillard has gone on radio predicting the end of the world on December 21 – as some say is foretold by the ancient Mayan calendar.
She said in a 50-second address that the Mayan calendar was true: "Whether the final blow comes from flesh-eating zombies, demonic hell beasts or from the total triumph of K-Pop, if you know one thing about me, it's this: I will always fight for you to the very end."
It's a spoof, of course, and the radio station concerned is not known for seriousness, but reaction has been mixed. Established Australian radio host Neil Mitchell asks: "Is it not demeaning of the office of prime minister to be doing something quite as silly as that, particularly when it's presented in quite a serious fashion?"
What next in this Silly Season? Is the SABC going to do its bit? Stand by for a broadcast by JZ saying it's all a hoax, a big joke - ho, ho! Nkandla doesn't really exist.
Doomsday cult
THE MAYAN calendar has sparked a Doomsday cult, especially around Hollywood. But serious students of it say it was written in cycles, the last ending on December 21, 2012. The reason it ends there is that the Mayan civilisation in present-day Mexico and Central America went into decline, hastened by the arrival of the Spanish conquistadores in the 16 century. Scholarship withered, the next cycle was never written.
I don't think the Mayans so much as mentioned Mangaung. But I bet it's on Julia Gillard's mind. As it is in the White House, No 10 Downing Street and the Kremlin.
Drogevlei
THE LOOMING Mangaung conference dominates discussion. It will even get an airing at St Clement's tonight when Spyker Koekemoer (aka Pat Smythe) presents an analysis in the Herman Charles Bosman idiom.
A little bird tells me Spyker is likely to extrapolate from the fact that, having spent R200 million or so on keeping the neighbours happy, JZ's party has lost control of the Nkandla municipality.
Mangaung/Nkandla gets more complicated than the elections for the Drogevlei School Committee.
Take Five
THERE was a poignant yet uplifting moment at the Merseyside jazz session at the weekend when they played Take Five in tribute to Dave Brubeck, the jazz maestro who wrote it and who died last week a day before his 92nd birthday.
Take Five had virtually become Brubeck's signature tune. He had been writing jazz music since the 1940s, and the piece is no doubt being played in tribute in jazz clubs all over the world.
Death, where is thy sting?
Milestone
THE ROVER mission on Mars has reached another milestone, Nasa reports. The explorer vehicle is currently operating for the first time on a clay-bearing surface on the edge of a wide bowl known as the Endeavour Crater. It is the first time it has encountered clay.
Are they quite sure there hasn't been some gross interplanetary navigational error? A week ago the vehicle was encountering dust devils such as occur on the Griquas rugby field at Kimberley. And now a clay surface. This sounds very much like the cricket pitch at Pofadder.
Dog drivers
THREE rescue dogs in New Zealand have been taught how to drive a car. Monty, Porter and Ginny – a giant schnauzer, a whippet cross and what's known in the antipodes as a "beardie" – get behind the wheel and operate adapted brakes and accelerator, as well as steer.
The next step is not Formula 1 – they drive about pretty sedately – but it's astonishing all the same. These dogs do drive.
It's part of a publicity campaign by the SPCA. However, I'm afraid the exercise lends itself to sexism: "Look at that silly bitch trying to parallel park!"
Tailpiece
A SCOTSMAN is in the supermarket check-out queue. He says to the cashier: "Can ye no' do this any cheaper?"
"If we did it for you, we'd have to do it for everybody."
"But it's got today's date on it. If nobody buys it ye'll have tae throw it awa'."
"Sir, you're holding up the queue. Do you want the newspaper or don't you?"
Last word
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
― Robert A Heinlein
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