This fiendish scam
A WARNING comes this way of a fiendish scam which is being perpetrated on men of mature years as they go about their Christmas shopping.
It works this way. Two nice-looking, university-age girls come over to your car as you are packing your purchases into it. They start wiping your windshield with a rag and window cleaner. Their T-shirts are so skimpy you cannot help but look.
When you thank them and offer them a tip, they decline and ask instead for a ride to McDonald's. You agree and they climb into the vehicle.
On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them starts crawling all over you while the other one steals your wallet.
The passer-on of this informant is emotional: "I had my wallet stolen on November 4th, 9th and 10th; twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th and 29th. Also on December 1st and 4th , twice on the 8th and very likely it will happen again this week.
"So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of we older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant!"
He ends by naming a shop where wallets can be bought as cheap as R2.99 each.
Be warned!
Kwambonambi
THE FELLOWS of the Kwambonambi Country Club have discovered a solution to various problems such as flooding at Royal Durban golf course, the breaking down of washing machines at Addington Hospital and the Gauteng e-tolling.
Member George Hutchison says submarines should be deployed from Simonstown to Royal Durban to agitate the floodwater into soap suds with their propellors. Dump in the empty washing from Addington. Hang it outside the city hall to dry in the hot air emanating from that place. Post it from the adjacent post office to Gauteng. Place it on the e-toll roads to be pressed by the slow-moving traffic. Then (seeing we are today importing far more than we export), send it back to Durban in the empty containers, using the high-speed Nkandla highway.
Great thinking! It's good to see that the Kwambonambi jungle juice has lost none of its potency.
School's out!
AN AUSSIE girl had school closed down for the day when she brought a hand grenade to show her classmates. The 11-year-old had thought it was a money box.
But the teacher, at Hunter Christian School in Newcastle, New South Wales, spotted what it was and freaked. The police and army bomb disposal experts were called and the kids were packed off home for the day.
It turned out the World War II grenade had already been made inactive.
"Well, we fixed school for today. Whose dad's got a bazooka or a flamethrower?"
Orient reunion
CALLING former pupils of Orient Islamic High School – they're trying to organise a grand reunion dinner in the New Year to mark the school's 45 years of existence.
The school was originally state-aided but is now private. It was once for boys only, today it has about 1 000 pupils, girls as well as boys.
Orient's old boys' association has been involved for a long time in welfare, education and upliftment projects in Phoenix, Waterloo and Blackburn Village. It also operates soup kitchens.
Former Orient pupils are scattered all over South Africa, many of them living today in Gauteng or the Western Cape. The hope is that many will be back in Durban this December to visit family and will contact the reunion organisers. Those interested should phone Ismail Patel at 072-5437860.
Lunacy and law
THE US CONGRESS has voted to remove the word "lunatic" from all federal legislation. The idea is to remove language that is outdated or demeaning.
The House of Representatives voted 398-1 last week. It follows a Senate vote in May to do the same.
Who is the single congressman who voted against? Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert says its madness for legislators to waste time on such a measure.
"The most pressing issue of the day is saving our country from bankruptcy. We should use the word 'lunacy' to describe the people who want to continue with business as usual in Washington."
One sees his point.
Tailpiece
TWO INDIAN junkies have ended up in hospital after accidently snorting curry powder instead of cocaine. One is in a korma. The other has a dodgy tikka.
Last word
Painting is just another way of keeping a diary. - Pablo Picasso
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