The Idler, Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The samba sparks off riots

DANCING is a desperate business. As crowds waited in Sao Paulo, Brazil, to hear which samba school would be named winner of a carnival contest, a man jumped over security gates surrounding the judges, grabbed their results – and tore them up as he ran away.

The incident led to riots and the police having to be called in.

The culprit is believed to be a member of Imperio de Casa Verde Samba School, which did not look set to be placed in one of the top spots.

Members of the La Bella Street Shelter For The Over-40s Samba School are shocked and shaken by the news. It undermines the whole ethos of the samba. It's enough to make them seriously consider going back to the foxtrot.

Camel factor

 

A READER who calls himself Jim D reflects on reminiscences this week about cigarette brands, including C to C (Cape to Cairo) that were issued to the troops during World War II.

 

"I am not sure that all World War II troops remember C to C with much affection. My late father, who served in the Kenya Regiment, recalled that the tobacco used was regarded with suspicion and that C to C was widely held to stand for "Camel to Consumer".

 

 

Smokes in quad

 

MEANWHILE, the mention of Merchiston boys smoking on the train to Zululand reminds reader Don Nicholson of a story told him by his uncle, Neil Chapman, who was a teacher at the school at its old premises in Prince Alfred Street.

 

"Some boys were caught smoking in the 1950s.The headmaster didn't give them six of the best. He told them to carry a table and chairs to the quadrangle. He then placed a packet of Springbok cigarettes and a box of matches on the table and told the offending boys to smoke every cigarette in the packet.

 

"The boys turned green and were very unwell once the cigarettes were finished. They were not caught smoking again."

 

Yes, that happened just a few years before I was at Merchiston. The story passed into school legend.

 

 

 

Squiffy recall

 

IT SEEMS my recollection of Springbok cigarettes being oval in shape is definitely squiffy. David Arnold, of Pietermaritzburg, is the second reader to say they were round. The oval cigarette he remembers was called Diploma.

 

I don't remember Diploma. But I do remember oval-shaped Venus, twopence for eight on the steam train to Kranskop.

Lowering the bar

THE WORLD record for shortness just keeps shrinking. At 54.6 cm (or 21.5 inches for those of us who still think that way), Chandra Bahadur Dangi, of Nepal, has snatched the title of The World's Shortest Man from Filipino Junrey Balawing (who is 5.3 cm taller).

Dangi, who is 72 and lives as a weaver in a remote valley in south-west Nepal, is also 2cm shorter than the late Gul Mohammed, of India, who had been the shortest man ever measured.

Craig Glenday, of the Guinness Book of World Records, says he's astonished that the shortness record keeps getting broken.

Maybe Guinness should take it a bit further – start a short men's basketball league or something. It could be a hit, a short-ass version of the Harlem Globetrotters.

 

Recommended Stories

Top Gear

 

IAN GIBSON, poet laureate of Hillcrest, pens some lines on the Top Gear show coming to Durban.

 

It's what many ratepayers fear,

This jamboree called Top Gear;

Some millions of ratepayers' rands

Watered into Mabhida's sands

To join the billions wasted yesteryear.

Tailpiece

AN AUSSIE walks into a pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive girl. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch. She: "Is your date running late?"   He: "No, I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was testing it." "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?" "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically." "What's it telling you now?" "It says you're not wearing any panties." She giggles: "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties"   He looks at the watch, taps it and exclaims: "Damn! The thing's running an hour fast!"