A crazy suggestion
MASSIVE housing contracts … rigged tenders … shoddy workmanship, some houses needing to be demolished … huge dissatisfaction … Has anyone thought of encouraging people to build their own homes instead?
I once encountered an example of this. It was at the port of Lobito, in southern Angola, a picturesque little place from which the Benguella Railway ran to the copperbelts of Zambia and Zaire, as it was then still called. (Though the Benguella Railway is now no more, having been destroyed in the civil war).
Picturesque as it might be, Lobito also had a slum that was a living hell; shackland in a steep valley on the edge of town. It smelled like a turkey pen and was a terrible health risk.
The mayor, a man named Orlando Costa, was determined to do something but had limited resources. So what he did was select a healthy plateau just outside town, demarcate plots, put in street lights, sewerage and water and build wash houses on every other corner. He also built a clinic which was staffed by nuns.
Anyone who asked was allocated a plot for free. Costa also set up a brickworks that sold bricks at cost.
The result was dramatic. People streamed from the slum. Next thing the new development sprouted with new, solidly built homes, some big, some smaller; some double-storey, some like miniature castles with battlements. No two were alike. There was none of the dreary uniformity of our townships, none of the shoddiness of our RDP housing.
And it was done without a single building plan, no bureaucratic intervention whatever.
When I asked about the safety aspect, Costa replied: "When a man build his own house, it doesn't fall down."
No bureaucracy, no backhanders. Is it not time we tried such lunacy here?
The EU bail-out
IT'S A SLOW day in a little Greek village. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.
A rich German tourist is driving through the village. He stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs .
The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has gone upstairs, he grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel.
The man at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the taverna.
The taverna owner slips the money to the local hooker, drinking at the bar, who has given him services on credit.
The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the €100 note.
The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich traveller will not suspect anything.
The traveller comes downstairs, picks up the €100 note and says he's changed his mind. He leaves town.
Nobody produced anything. Nobody earned anything. However, the whole village is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.
That is how the European Union bailout package works.
And everyone was so worried?
Big cats
THE BIG CAT enthusiasts in Gloucestershire, England, are not giving up. Scientists say the carcasses of three roe deer found near the village of Woodchester appear to have been attacked by either foxes or dogs.
But local people insist they have spotted a panther/cougar/leopard/jaguar-like creature and have heard it howling and roaring in the night. Now a woman has produced video footage of a black, panther-like creature prowling in the fields.
But it's very grainy footage, you can't make out too much. The creature might yet turn out to be News International proprietor Rupert Murdoch.
Tailpiece
A BLONDE is in a bar with two fellows
First fellow: Johnny Walker, single."
Second fellow: Jack Daniels, single."
"And you, ma'am?"
"Katryn van der Merwe, divorced."
Last word
There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.
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