To beat the heat
AS THE first nip of autumn suggests itself in the evening air, and we begin to think the summer might be at last over, perhaps it is a safe time to discuss an alternative to the safari suit.
These recent sweltering months have surely proved once and for all that western garb is unsuitable in our sub-tropical summer climate.
The beshu is not really practical. The safari suit has acquired unfortunate political connotations, even without a comb in the stocking.
Now a reader suggests the kaftan, the lightweight flowing cloak that originated in the Ottoman Empire.
"It is surprising that the kaftan, so popular some years ago, disappeared as a man's garment so quickly when it was commandeered (and beautified) by the ladies," he says. "As I remember from my student days, it was a loose and very cool garment."
I must say I don't remember the kaftan being all that popular among men. I'm sure we saw more of the loose and cool safari suit. I had a splendid mulberry-coloured one that I bought at a duka in Zambia.
Perhaps the answer lies in compromise – a splendid, mulberry-coloured kaftan. Ah, to be a trend-setter.
Little Mermaid
HANS Christian Andersen's Little Mermaid has been Shanghaied. The bronze figure has been removed from the rock in Copenhagen harbour where she has sat for almost 100 years and taken to China where she will grace the Danish pavilion in Shanghai during the 2010 Expo.
Since the Little Mermaid was placed on the rock in 1913 – the sculpture commissioned by the chairman of the Carlsberg brewery – she has been vandalised at least eight times. Her head has been sawn off three times and her right arm amputated. She has been daubed with paint and once she was pushed off the rock completely.
Fortunately the artist made a mould for the statue, which still exists. Repairs have been made without too much difficulty
Maybe the Little Mermaid will be safer in Shanghai.
Afrikander bull
I WONDER if the Tukkies students still vandalise the statue outside the Department of Agriculture in Pretoria of an Afrikander bull?
This magnificent piece of sculpture, depicting the bull wheeling, the genitalia realistically swinging as he does so, used to attract the attention of the students every rag week. The genitalia would be daubed with fluorescent red, green or blue paint, and it would take workmen with wire brushes days to remove the artwork.
Queen Vicky
IN MARITZBURG, students used to target Queen Victoria, outside the legislature building, and Sir Theophilus Shepstone, not far away.
Queen Victoria once was given a bra and a bottle of beer. Sir Theophilus was given a tennis racquet.
The creative instincts of students should surely be encouraged.
Bizarre election
THE ANTICS of the British general election campaign are becoming increasingly bizarre.
Massive portraits of Tory leader David Cameron suddenly appeared all over the place, the kind of display not seen since the heyday of Mao-tse-tung.
The party leaders' wives got dragged in, with all kinds of cringeworthy stuff about their hubbies' habits in the home.
Now the Tories are trundling lorries about the place with huge portraits of Prime Minister Gordon Brown, accusing him of stealing from pensioners and all kinds of other things.
Yet the opinion polls show consistently that the likely outcome is a hung parliament – where no party has an absolute majority.
Given the MPs' expenses scandal; the "cabs for hire" scandal over former Labour ministers offering to influence policy for cash; and this undignified desperation of the Tories, many British voters must surely be feeling that hanging's too good for them.
Tuxedo! Tuxedo!
HERE'S a puzzling request from reader Gillian Milton. Does anyone remember how at Greenacres, in West Street, a man wearing a tuxedo would come out of an opening door, on the hour, every hour – rather like a cuckoo coming out of a cuckoo clock?
Whatever can she mean? (It wasn't me - I gave my tuxedo to the gardener). Was this in fact some kind of clock? I just don't recall it. Maybe other readers can enlighten us.
Tailpiece
NOBODY will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternising with the enemy.
Last word
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
GRAHAM LINSCOTT
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