More foibles
of East
Griqualand
YESTERDAY shared emails on East Griqualand prompted discussion of the region's more eccentric characters. One such was my pal, Bill O' Hagan, who ended up achieving fame in London as the sausage king of Fleet Street.
The emails also relate to Ebbo Bastard, a member of an EG farming family of that unusual name who also played rugby for the Springboks. He was a flanker during the 1937 tour of Australia and New Zealand.
The Aussies and Kiwis were astonished by the surname. Radio commentators referred to him as "one player who we shall call Smith".
As anyone who has been to EG knows, the locals are high-spirited fellows. After a post-match pint or two, they tend to let off steam by climbing lampposts and things. EG is like the Wild West.
Following a match in Brisbane, Ebbo Bastard was spoken to by a constable after climbing a neon sign. He asked Bastard his name.
"I don't want to know what you are, I want to know who you are," the cop responded after being told the name.
Later in Sydney, a similar incident occurred involving Ebbo Bastard and teammate Syd van der Vyver, both of them climbing lampposts.
A constable asked their names. They complied. The cop: "No bastard is going to get a fiver out of me."
Lamppost climbing appears to have disappeared from rugby in the professional era. But as far as I know, the country teams of KZN still play for the Ebbo Bastard Trophy.
Unfortunately though, this story has a tragic, shocking twist. Bill O'Hagan was actually Ebbo Bastard's son. He and his mother changed their surname to her maiden name – O 'Hagan – after Ebbo was killed in a gunfight with a neighbour at Cedarville.
This time East Griqualand was just a little too much like the Wild West.
Clarity
SOME moments of clarity come this way:
· America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.- David Letterman
· I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. I'm a billionaire.- Howard Hughes
· I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage.- Zsa Zsa Gabor
· When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. -Prince Philip
· A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.- Emo Philips.
· Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.
- Harrison Ford
· Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke.- Robin Hall
· Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million. - Arnold Schwarzenegger.
· We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.
-W H Auden
· I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we're very sceptical.
-Arthur C Clarke
· Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap. - Steve Martin
· The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.
- George Roberts
Tailpiece
WHAT do you call a Frenchman in sandals?
Phillipe Phillope.
Last word
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.
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