Sunday, April 7, 2019

The Idler, Friday, April 5, 2019

Suddenly a

diversion

from Brexit

THE Mueller witch-hunt in America had gone quiet for a while. The special counsel investigating alleged collusion with Russia during the presidential election campaign reported to William Barr, President Trump's new Attorney-General.

Barr issued a four-page summary of the voluminous report, saying nothing had been found.

Then the New Yorker published a puzzling book review.

"Attorney General William Barr has just read the classic American novel Moby Dick, by Herman Melville, and found that the book contains 'no evidence whatsoever of whales.'

"The Attorney General issued his statement on the absence of whales in the Melville classic in a two-paragraph book report released to the news media.

"'Those who read Moby Dick looking for whales will be sorely disappointed,' Barr wrote. 'There are no whales here.'

"To illustrate his point, Barr quoted the book's first sentence: 'Call me Ishmael.'

"'As you can clearly see, that sentence does not have a whale in it,' Barr wrote.

"The Attorney-General indicated that he hoped his report would put an end to 'reckless speculation' about the existence of whales in Moby Dick. "It's time to move on," he wrote.

"Barr disclosed that, after waiting years to read Moby Dick, he was able to finish reading it in approximately 15 minutes."

Just what was satirist Andy Borowitz getting at?

Then this week the House of Representatives demanded sight of the entire Mueller report and voted to subpoena for it if necessary.

Thar she blows! The quiet is over. We have a diversion from the Brexit circus.

Rave-up

HOW did I miss out on this? Supporters of the regular arts soiree at St Clement's are still raving about Monday's musical performance by Blarney Brothers all-rounder Tony Fisher and a Latino group of guitarists called Mais Que Nada.

It was a barnstormer, they say, fantastic! All kinds of instruments - guitars, penny whistle, bongo drum, violin, you name it. And vocals – Irish and Latino. Truly a night to remember. One of the best we've had, they say.

How could I miss it? I've always had a soft spot for the Blarney Brothers. They were the first group I encountered down at the Killarney when, yonks ago, I returned from a spell overseas with fond memories of Ireland. They're still playing together.

And, the St Clement's folk tell me, Fisher's linking up with the Latinos has produced something truly sublime.

Yet I missed it. Sigh! Duty calls. When you get co-opted to the selection panel for official girl streakers for Super 12 rugby, you really can't refuse.

I'll just have to wait for Tony and Mais Que Nada to start their run at Rhumbelow Theatre.

 

Cavalry time

THE Lions tomorrow. Can we at last beat a local side after skinning the overseas opposition? Statistically, it's surely gotta happen?

I agree with coach Robert that we performed pretty well against the Bulls. Three points in it, one try of ours dodgily disallowed. There was some stirring defence, some great scrumming. The Fat Lady began to sing only in the closing minutes.

Okay, it wasn't the greatest spectacle. But that's rugby. Sometimes it's all in the trenches, sometimes it's the cavalry.

Let's make it the cavalry tonight. Dry ball on the highveld. Let loose our flyers. Let's give Curwin Bosch a gallop.

'Erewego, 'erewego, 'erewego!

Tailpiece

WHAT'S furry, has whiskers and chases outlaws?

A posse cat.

Last word

Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.

Samuel Butler

 

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