Castration
- the new
remedy?
FOR a fleeting moment one's hopes soared. Political villains are to be castrated.
One thinks of the dozens, scores, possibly hundreds named in recent days by various commissions of inquiry. They are outnumbered only by the taxpayers who would be eager to do the honours with the castrating irons, preferably in public.
But alas it seems I've misconstrued that headline about "political castration". Judge Dhaya Pillay was being metaphorical. In her capacity as an Election Commissioner for May 8, she was warning that parties which misbehave in the run-up to election day – transgress the Electoral Code of Conduct - would face very heavy penalties.
"You could suffer a kind of electoral castration in that you won't have access to the media and you won't be able to hold public meetings."
Okay, fair enough, though there is some disappointment. The hustings would certainly be enlivened by a castration or two at every polling booth, even if just to concentrate the minds of other would-be transgressors.
But has Judge Pillay chanced tangentially upon a future remedy for political corruption? My guess is that a plebiscite on the issue would come down overwhelmingly in favour.
THE middle finger has become a symbol internationally of displeasure. Is it acceptable to display it when displeased with the police?
It would appear that in the US it is now acceptable. A woman in Michigan was given a speeding ticket by a police officer, according to Huffington Post. She showed him the finger. At which he wrote out another ticket for a more serious speeding offence.
She took it to a federal appeals court saying her constitutional right to free speech was violated. The court agreed, saying the cop had no right to increase the fine "even if the driver was rude".
This was, of course, the US. The ruling does not empower individuals everywhere to give the finger to cops. Our courts might well rule otherwise.
Mind you, with this promotions dispute our coppers are possibly too busy themselves giving the finger to their political superiors to even notice.
AN UNUSUAL group of interns – including Star Wars villain Jabba the Hutt and Spider-Man's alter-ego Peter Parker - have been credited with helping prepare President Donald Trump's annual economic report.
Buried on page 624, the names include the human alter-egos of Captain America and Batman - Steve Rogers and Bruce Wayne - as well as Spider-Man's relative Aunt May and Monty Python star John Cleese, according to Sky News.
The inclusion is apparently a prank that happens every year.
Humour at the White House? Has anyone told Trump?
HOPE springs eternal … Melbourne rebels tomorrow, but has last weekend's bye allowed the Sharks to eliminate the silly buggers factor that has so unaccountably crept in. Five first half penalties conceded against the Bulls – mama mia!
From there things can only improve. See you in the Duikers'!
Tailpiece
A HARDY old Texas cattleman once told a young female neighbour that if she wanted to live to a ripe old age, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning.
She did this religiously. The years went by. She lived to 103.
She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five great-great-grandchildren - and a 10m hole where the crematorium used to be.
Last word
A girl phoned me the other day and said: "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
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