Date with
destiny in Van
Diemensland
THE Sharks being who and what they are, they will probably chow the New South Wales Waratahs in Sydney tomorrow. They do perform well Down Under and this season have shown a penchant for stirring performances away and silly buggers at home. You couldn't be further away than Sydney. Unless you're in Auckland or Christchurch or somewhere.
Also, they have some significant reinforcements in the Bewiskered Warthog Akker van der Merwe, returned from a brief excursion into pugilism; Tyler Paul, Ruan Botha and Jean-Luc du Preez. As we all know, the team have got what it takes anyway. When they turn it on, they're world class. It's all in the kop. Forget Durban. This is Sydney.
But we need that win. The damsels of the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties are optimistic, shifting already in their undergarments in anticipation of the traditional celebratory feu de joie when catapults are fashioned from their knicker elastic to shoot out the streetlights.
'Erewego, 'erewego, 'erewego!
Dialogue
A STRANGE bit of dialogue comes this way.
"The Sharks need a coach."
"But they've got a coach."
"No, they've got a dad just helping out."
I don't subscribe in any way to this. I believe the season will yet prove Robert du Preez' qualities. And the boys? C'mon, any Super 12 side would snap them up.
But you've got to admit it's kinda funny.
Cowbells
YOU retire to the countryside for a quiet life … and then you can't sleep at night for the pesky cowbells clanging in the meadow.
Or so argue a German couple who have unsuccessfully tried for the second time to get a Bavarian court to silence the cowbells, according to the BBC.
The unnamed couple, who live in the market town of Holzkirchen, also complain of the smell of manure and the insects that are attracted.
One does wonder what they are doing in the countryside. As local politician Ilse Aigner says: "The cow – with its bell – is part of our rural way of life."
But the townie couple insist the fight is not over. They're going to appeal. Ding, ding! Case dismissed! Again!
Dog overboard!
OIL rig workers found a dog swimming round a drilling platform – 220km off the coast of Thailand. The brown aspin – a local breed – was exhausted but swam to them when they called him.
The puzzle is how he got there. Speculation is that he must have fallen overboard from a vessel, possibly a fishing trawler, according to Sky News.
After a couple of days Boonrod – the Thai word for "survivor" – was sent to shore with a fuel tanker, and a vet pronounced him to be in good shape.
Boonrod has so far not signed on with another trawler.
Tailpiece
SNOW White is returning from town to the cottage in the forest where she lives with the Seven Dwarves. In the distance she sees smoke, then as she gets nearer she realises her cottage has burnt down.
Frantically she searches the forest for any sign of the dwarves, then she hears a lone voice chanting: "Scotland for the World Cup! Scotland for the World Cup!"
Snow White gives a gasp of relief. At least Dopey's safe.
Last word
It is a good morning exercise for a research scientist to discard a pet hypothesis every day before breakfast. It keeps him young.
Konrad Lorenz
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