Refugees
from the
razor
IS POGONOPHOBIA about to become a source of social discord? The word means fear or dislike of beards and bearded men, derived from the Greek pogon for beard.
For a long time, maiden aunts and others have harboured suspicions as to the motivation of those who sport facial hair. Now researchers at the Hirslanden Clinic near Zurich, in Switzerland, have come out with it emphatically – bearded men carry more germs than dogs.
They compared the bacterial load of human-pathogenic micro-organisms in specimens taken from 18 bearded men and 30 dogs, according to Huffington Post.
All the bearded bros showed high microbial counts, compared with only 23 out of 30 dogs. In fact, seven of the men had so much beard bacteria they were at risk of falling ill, says the BBC.
"On the basis of these findings, dogs can be considered as clean, compared with bearded men," study author Andreas Gutzeit said.
It's caused quite a hoo-ha. Keith Flett, founder of the Beard Liberation Front in Britain, cast doubt on the report.
"I think it's possible to find all sorts of unpleasant things if you took swabs from people's hair and hands and then tested them. I don't believe that beards in themselves are unhygienic.
"There seems to be a constant stream of negative stories about beards that suggest it's more about pogonophobia than anything else."
Flett perhaps has a point. What breeds of dog were tested? A short-haired fox terrier would be virtually microbe-free. After burrowing for rats or moles, within 20 minutes or so his coat looks like an advert for Omo, having rubbed off all the dirt on the furniture. An Airedale terrier by comparison carries around in his thick coat all kinds of often unidentifiable matter that could well provide a breeding ground for microbes. I know, I've owned both.
Accepting that bearded men are themselves pretty constant in terms of any microbe count – they seldom go burrowing after rats or moles – it makes all the difference in the world whether they are being compared with fox terriers or Airedale terriers.
That said, it seems there has for a long time been a prejudice against beards. In August 2013, Christopher Oldstone-Moore, history lecturer at Wright State University in Ohio and author of The Beard Movement in Victorian Britain, commented: "Facial hair for the past century has been thought to reflect a suspicious streak of individuality and defiance ... Politicians, public servants and businessmen – and apparently journalists – risk their reputations if they abandon the razor."
This is shocking prejudice. There was a time at Oxford University when students would shout: "Beaver!" at any bearded geezer they encountered. Will the Hirslanden Clinic research see a resurgence of such rudeness.
I think we have to go out of our way to show kindness to our bearded fellow-citizens. Pogonophobia has no place. Let's have Pogonophilia instead. The fairer sex have to take a lead in this – plant kisses on the bearded ones at every opportunity.
Of course, I have no personal interest in this. But if the bearded ones want to buy me beer, who am I to decline?
Tailpiece
TWO retired army officers are sitting in their club.
Says one: "When did you last make love to a woman?"
"Oh, 1947."
"Good heavens, that's a long time ago."
"Not really. It's only ten past eight now."
Last word
Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.
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