It's Red October
RED OCTOBER has snuck up on us unawares. It's that time of year when – to quote a media release issued by a certain political party – we are inspired to take forward "the spirit and the victories of the Great October Socialist Revolution of 1917 in Russia - ushering in the first workers' government in the 20th century."
This is exciting stuff. The release also condemns "the failures of the neo-liberal macro-economic policies pursued since 1996."
It's all going to change during Red October when, we are told, the workers and the poor will be "conscientised and mobilised into becoming the makers of their own history".
It's stirring revolutionary rhetoric, of a quality seldom heard these days. Even in Cuba and North Korea, the Bolshevik revolution of 1917 is only half-remembered. In China the capitalist fatcats have taken over the party. In Russia, home of the revolution, the country is being run not even by the party but by a gang of Hell's Angels on Harley-Davidsons.
Yet here in South Africa, the revolutionary flame burns pure and unadulterated.
Let's storm the Winter Palace! Er, okay, it's a bit late for that. We'll storm the Summer Palace instead!
Red October – remember where you read it first!
Conservation
A DOZEN panda cubs are being hand-reared at a special nursery in Sichuan province, China, according to this news report. They have been born at a giant panda breeding centre which has been set up in an attempt to rescue the species from extinction.
If only the Chinese authorities would put the same kind of effort into saving our rhino from extinction.
The sickening high-technology poaching that is going on all over southern Africa is driven almost entirely by the libido of Chinese men who believe – quite erroneously – that rhino horn is a potent sexual stimulant. Demand is increased by the emergence of a new business class in China who have money to burn.
I don't think human libido has anything to do with the dwindling numbers of the pandas – it's more disappearance of habitat – but surely it's time we engaged with the Chinese authorities to end the rhino horn trade.
Either we legalise and regulate the trade, removing the financial incentive for poaching, or we somehow get the word out that rhino horn is now being used by the army to replace that blue stuff they used to put in the tea.
But it's very difficult to amend sexual mythology. We and the Chinese will have to set up something similar to the organisation De Beers and the Russians have to jointly regulate the world supply and price of diamonds.
I'm afraid I just can't see a place in it for the pandas.
Oops!
STILL with China, the country's first space laboratory was launched recently, state television giving the successful take-off of Tiangong 1 minute by minute coverage.
But – oops! – footage was accompanied by the music of a patriotic song, America the Beautiful, which contains the line: "America! America! God shed His grace on thee."
America the Beautiful was composed by a New York church organist in 1882, and has long been a favourite of US super-patriots. There have even been moves to have it replace The Star-Spangled Banner as the official national anthem.
But it could have been worse. The Chinese could have hired that fellow who butchered the South African national anthem before a rugby test in France.
Then and now
WALMART, the American hypermarket chain, has a policy of hiring retired people to greet and assist elderly customers. One such was known as Charley. He did a great job. But he kept arriving at work five, 10 or even 15 minutes late.
One day the boss called him in for a talk. "Charley, I have to tell you I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome."
"Yes I know, boss. I'm working on it."
"Well good, that's what I like to hear. It's odd though. I know you're retired from the armed forces. What did they say if you came in late?"
"They said: 'Good morning Admiral can I get your coffee sir?'"
Tailpiece
THEY say that men think only about sex. That's not true. They're also fixated on power, world domination, money, rugby and beer.
Last word
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
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