The visa affair rumbles on
THE VISIT by the Dalai Lama could be still on. Information that comes this way suggests Plan B might be about to swing into action. It is revealed in this intercepted message:
"Dear Holiness Dalai Lama,
"Please revert to Plan B. Fly into Zimbabwe on Wednesday. Take a taxi from Harare to the South African border on Thursday. Walk across the border. No visa is required.
"See you Friday.
"Blessings,
"Archbishop Tutu."
Peals of joy
READER Andrew Dale meanwhile pens a few lines on the issue:
When Desmond Tutu won the Nobel Prize,
Loud peals rang out, the joyous news to tell.
What's this we see today before our eyes?
For Jacob Zuma ring the No-Prize Bell.
Explanation
AND AT LAST an explanation from the Department of Home Affairs of their failure to grant the Dalai Lama a visa.
"Our sincere apologies to the people of South Africa, and especially to Archbishop Desmond Tutu. When we received the visa application for the Dalai Lama, it was inadvertently filed under DA Lai Lama.
"Well, you can guess the rest. Anything to do with the DA was a no-brainer. Naturally the visa was refused. Our staff have been asked not to 'dilly-dolly' with the application. (We can't use 'dilly-dally', as 'DAlly' may be interpreted as support for the DA).
"Kind regards,
"Visa Section, Home Affairs."
I am obliged for this information to a reader named Geoff Pullan.
Would this be the same Geoff Pullan who is a DA councillor in Durban? Surely not!
U-turn
BRITISH prime minister David Cameron tells Sky News: "We can turn the UK around."
KU? Surely that's one U-turn too many.
Mind you, whatever people might say about Gaddafi having been a ruthless dictator, at least he didn't use his position to promote himself.
He was a colonel when he ousted King Idris all those years ago and a colonel he remained. Not like Idi Amin, who started out as a sergeant-major and pretty soon was a field marshal with all kinds of self-awarded gongs, starting with the VC.
Gaddafi was actually a product of Sandhurst – though they don't talk about it much.
Victoriana
WHY IS THIS TV feature on Bletchley Park – where they broke Nazi codes during World War II – illustrated with a shot of Maritzburg College? Except it's not Maritzburg College, it's the old cricket pavilion at the Oval in nearby Alexandra Park.
Except it's not that either – it's Maritzburg College and the old cricket pavilion combined. It's striking to anyone who knows them both.
It's another case of the same architectural idea being repeated in Victorian times, the way the old Durban station was designed (originally for Canada) to hold 40 feet of snow on its roof - and it's never collapsed yet!
Bletchley Park, in Buckinghamshire, is in the news because it's been awarded a £4.6 million grant from Britain's Heritage Lottery Fund for restoration and the development of a top-class visitor centre.
I wonder if there's any connection besides the uncanny architectural resemblance between Bletchley and Maritzburg College/Alexandra Park Oval. It could be that masters who had spent years trying to teach maths to Maritzburg College schoolboys would have found it a doddle cracking Nazi codes – and therefore got seconded to Bletchley Park during World War II.
This is just a theory but a beguiling one. I am prepared to accept research funding from the South African Lotto.
Tailpiece
A German, an Irishman, a Portugese and a Greek walk into a bar. The German pays.
Last word
A little learning is a dangerous thing but a lot of ignorance is just as bad.
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