Potassium and water
FOR WANT of a nail, the shoe was lost; for want of a shoe, the horse was lost; for want of a horse, the knight was lost; for want of a knight, the battle was lost; for want of a battle, the kingdom was lost …
Yes, such are the fortunes of war – and rugby. A wrongfooted flyhalf attempts a snap drop instead of going for the line … a 30-second lapse in focus allows a match-winning try from a conventional backline movement. Scotland did enough in 79 minutes and 30 seconds to clinch the game. But Argentina used that 30 seconds. For want of a nail …
And a humdinger is set up for tomorrow. For Scotland it's the ould enemy, England. And it's death or glory. There are no in-betweens.
For those of us who have been following his blog, the day is also likely to be a crisis in the personal life of former Mercury columnist Wordsworth (aka John MacDonald) who is in New Zealand with Lady Linda, following the fortunes of Scotland. Or rather, Wordsworth is following the fortunes of Scotland. Lady Linda is following the fortunes of England.
The Wordsworth blog is better than soap opera. Readers will recall that the New Zealand expedition got off to a shaky start when Wordsworth missed the sailing to Singapore and had Lady Linda journey alone on a freighter manned by Ukrainians and Filipinos.
The reconciliation achieved in Singapore always was fraught with the looming clash between Scotland and England. Had Scotland beaten Argentina and been left with a smooth path to the quarter-finals, that would have been the end of it. But no – Scotland blew it in that 30 seconds.
What's that chemical that behaves so badly when it comes in contact with water? Potassium. Yes, it's difficult to imagine tomorrow's Scotland-England match being anything other – in terms of our soap opera – than an explosive interaction of potassium and water.
As I write, Wordsworth's blog is strangely silent. Is he too overwrought, following the Argentina match, to strum the keyboard? Has Lady Linda strangled him in advance?
Don't miss the next enthralling episode.
Aunt Sally
THE BOKS shouldn't have too much trouble against Samoa today. If you go by the yardstick of by how much we beat Namibia, compared with them, we should give Samoa 20 points. But, as everyone knows, such yardsticks are nonsense in rugby. The Boks have to stay focused.
Poor little Namibia, being set up as an Aunt Sally. But at least they're there.
Rugby camaraderie
THE RUGBY World Cup has brought together in New Zealand all kinds of people from all around the world. Being rugby folk, all kinds of pranks are being played. Stories are beginning to emerge.
Three Aussies and three Maoris were travelling by train to a match in Auckland. At the station the Aussies each bought a ticket and watched as the three Maoris bought just one ticket between them.
"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asked one of the Aussies.
"Watch and learn bro," answered one of the Maoris.
They all boarded the train. The Aussies took their seats but all three Maoris crammed into a toilet and closed the door.
The train set off and the conductor came round collecting tickets. He knocked on the toilet door: "Ticket please!"
The door opened a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The conductor took it and moved on.
At the station for the return trip, the Maoris again bought a single ticket. The Aussies didn't buy a ticket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asked a Maori.
"Watch and learn bro."
When they boarded the train the three Aussies crammed into a toilet. The three Maoris crammed into another nearby. The train departed.
Then one of the Aussies left the toilet and walked over to the one where the Maoris were hiding. He rapped on the door: "Ticket please!"
Tailpiece
WHAT three man-made objects can be seen from outer space? The Great Wall of China, the Pyramids and the gap in the Australian backline.
Last word
There is far too much talk about good ball and bad ball. In my opinion, good ball is when you have possession and bad ball is when the opposition have it. - Dick Jeeps
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