| Wanted: a fool A CASTLE in England is looking for a new resident fool. Muncaster Castle, in the Lake District, is the only castle in the world still to appoint its own jester. The current fool is a certain Mr Spin, from Australia, who is an ace juggler. He also specialises in vaudeville street circus. The successful applicant will need to be able to keep an audience amused for 30 minutes and will be the star of the Festival of Fools, a five-day event which the castle runs every year. As well as being able to use the title Fool of Muncaster for a year, the winner will be given a crate of Jennings Cumberland Ale every month while he holds office. Muncaster was the place of work of Tom Fool (real name Thomas Skelton) in the 15th century, who gave his name to the English language as tomfoolery and is thought to have been acquainted with Shakespeare. Peter Frost-Pennington, whose family have lived at Muncaster Castle for more than 800 years, says the role of the fool is important as ever in this uncertain world. "We need the fool to remind our rulers not to get above themselves and to remember that they're not greatly important in the grand scheme of things." Fools, juggling, street vaudeville ... Muncaster Castle would be spoiled for choice were it to cast its net in these parts. What an opportunity for our politicos who fail to make it in the municipal elections. Choke joke CRICKET cruelty. An e-mail doing the rounds says the national side have changed their named from the Proteas to the Artichokes. A redesigned logo shows how similar in appearance an artichoke actually is to a protea. Tweet a cobra AN EGYPTIAN cobra is on the slither in New York. It escaped from its enclosure at the Bronx zoo and has not yet been found. But a Twitter account has been created for it on the zoo's website, so all is well. BronxZoosCobra had more than 116 000 followers within a day and famous people – including New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg - have been sending it messages. This is, of course, totally normal behaviour when a venomous snake escapes. Mayor Bloomberg, tweeted: "Today President Obama and I toured NYC's Museum of Natural History. We saw a 94 foot whale, but not @BronxZoosCobra." Comedienne Ellen DeGeneres has also got into conversation with the cobra. Her tweet read: "Hey @BronxZoosCobra you should check out the Guggenheim Museum. They have a great Kandinsky exhibit. They also don't have any stairs." Just so long as she doesn't get carried away - do a Cleopatra and clasp an asp to her bosom. Tweeting a cobra - has the world gone completely nutty or am I missing something? Groin music SECURITY officers questioning a suspected cellphone thief in Cape Town had their case solved for them when ringtone music suddenly issued from the suspect's groin. The suspect and a companion had snatched a Blackberry from the counter of a restaurant in Rondebosch and made off. The restaurant owner spotted them as they fled and contacted his security company, whose men got to the vicinity fast and apprehended the pair. They were vehemently denying any knowledge of the cellphone when it started ringing from where it had been stowed in one of the men's underpants. The owner had dialled from another phone. The tune? It couldn't have been Jailhouse Rock because the restaurateur declined to press charges. | 
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