The Idler, Thursday, April 14, 2011

One for the legal eagles NOW HERE'S what you would call an unusual case, related at an awards dinner, in the United States, of the Association for Forensic Science.

 

The medical examiner viewed the body of one Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr Opus had jumped from the top of a 10-storey building, intending to commit suicide. He left a note to the effect.   As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.   The room on the ninth floor, from which the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window, striking Mr. Opus. When one intends to kill  "A" but kills "B", one is guilty of the murder of "B." Confronted, the old man and his wife both said they thought the shotgun was not loaded. The old man said he often threatened his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. The killing of Mr Opus appeared to have been an accident. But a witness saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks before. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support. He loaded the gun expecting his father to shoot his mother. He was therefore guilty of the murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger.   Then it turned out the son was in fact Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the 10-storey building. He had murdered himself. The case was closed as a suicide. There's one for the legal eagles.

Better than peat

NEWS from the Celtic Tiger. The Irish have solved their fuel problems. They've imported 50 million tons of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil.

 

 

Spin

MORE news from the US. Judy Wallman, a genealogy researcher in southern California, put in some work on her own family tree. She discovered that Remus Reid, who was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889, was not just part of her family tree, he was also the great-great-uncle of Senator Harry Reid.

The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows in Montana Territory. The back of the photograph is inscribed: "Remus Reid, horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889."

Judy recently e-mailed Senator Harry Reid for information about their great-great uncle. She got this biographical sketch from his staff: "Remus Reid was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honour when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."


Now that's spin, worthy of a political Shane Warne. Maybe some of our politicos should second staff from Senator Reid.

 

Tailpiece

 

A census enumerator in Ireland knocks at the door, which is opened by an old woman.

Enumerator:"Are you Mrs Murphy?"

Old woman: "Yes I am."

Enumerator: "I am from the Census and need to ask you a few questions."

Old woman: "What is this all about?"

Enumerator: "We want to know how many people there are in the country."

Old woman: "Why ask me? I have not the faintest idea."

She closes the door.

 

Last word

 

One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.

A A Milne

 

GRAHAM LINSCOTT