Political insult evolves
EVERYTHING evolves and changes, even the symbolism of insult. Many years ago now, when tensions were running high on the Sino-Soviet border, a battalion of Chinese troops marched smartly up, halted and stared across the short stretch of nomansland at their Soviet adversaries.
Then they did an about-turn and, in unison, dropped their trousers and bent over. Done in military drill-time it must have been an astonishing and impressive spectacle. Take that, revisionist, collaborationist, pseudo-imperialist pigs!
But when they did it again next day, the Soviets were ready. They held up posters with the portrait of Chairman Mao.
This threw the Chinese into utter confusion. How could they moon the Great Leader? Some pulled up their trousers, some turned around, some broke ranks and ran away; some stayed steadfastly in moon mode, unwittingly insulting their own leader.
It was the end of that particular phase of border confrontation. And today mooning is generally considered humorous, if a little coarse.
What are we to make of events in Johannesburg last week when ANC Youth League supporters at Julius Malema's hate speech trial are said to have urinated at a female lawyer associated with Malema's accusers?
It seems reasonable to presume they were not so much registering disapproval of the legal profession in general as of the female advocate's clients. Has urination become the new mode of political statement?
The mind boggles. In Brussels there's a famous little statue engaged steadily in the same action as the Johannesburg Youth Leaguers. Have we evolved to a political phase of Mannikin Pis?
Nongoma parallel
SOMEHOW it recalls an incident in Zululand. A friend spent a gap year working for the post office in Nongoma (In those days gap years didn't have anything like the dash and style they have today).
He was serving at the counter one morning when a client came in with a pet bushbaby on his shoulder. Then, without warning, the bushbaby jumped, clung to the brass bars of the grille and widdled on the stamps, which in those days were kept on the counter in a big book.
Whether the bushbaby disapproved of my friend or the postal services in general – or whether he was making a political statement – is not clear. But postal services in Nongoma broke down for a time because word gets around and nobody was buying or licking stamps.
It's not known if the bushbaby had any political affiliation.
Musical evening
IT NEVER rains but it pours. Last week I was at a piano recital at varsity where London-based Renee Reznek gave an absolutely thrilling rendition of selections from Leos Janacek, Claude Debussy, Giles Swayne, Olivier Messiaen, David Earl and Hendrik Hofmeyr.
Old Roses (by Earl) was especially poignant because it was composed as a tribute to Renee's parents, Dr Koffie and Rose Reznek. (Readers will perhaps recall last year's series of wartime photographs by Koffie Reznek, published in this newspaper). Old Roses fully captures the atmosphere of Maritzburg, where they lived, a place of gardens and the serene passage of time.
Afterwards I repaired to a hostelry where, over a glass of wine, I pondered the genius that produces great musical compositions; and the genius that translates them into actual sound and emotion.
There I was joined by a friend who is involved in stage musicals. He was in expansive mode and launched into snatches from Porgy and Bess, West Side Story, My Fair Lady and The Sound of Music.
Broulliards to My Old Man's a Dustman ... music, music, music!
Tailpiece
A GOLFER slices his ball off the first tee and watches it disappear through the open window of a house. He takes another ball out of his bag and plays on.
On the eighth hole, a police officer walks up to him and says: "Did you hit a golf ball through a window back there?"
"Yes I did."
"Well,it knocked a lamp over, scaring the dog, which raced out of the house onto the highway. A driver rammed into a brick wall to avoid the dog, sending three people to hospital. And it's all because you sliced the ball."
"Oh my goodness! Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes there is. Try keeping your head down and close up your stance a bit."
Last word
The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is inefficiency. An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to liberty.
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