The bonny, bonny lassies ...
Wi' a hundred pipers, an' a', an' a',
We'll up an' gie them a blaw, a blaw.
Wi' a hundred pipers, an' a', an' a',
Oh, our sodger lads looked braw ...
IT'S THAT time of year again when the skirl of the bagpipes sounds in the hills of the Midlands; when the lassies are dancing the Highland Fling, the laddies the Argyll Broadswords; when the men of the local regiments are walking the weight (carrying an enormous stone), tossing the caber and heaving at the tug-o'-war.
It's that time of year again when I can wear my trusty glengarry without attracting hoots of derision, the way it happens at King's Park.
Yes, it's the annual Fort Nottingham Highland Gathering and Games (sponsored by Bells whisky) on Saturday. There will be the craft stalls, the beer gardens, the food stalls, the pubs, the art exhibitions, the beer tents and, er, the liquor outlets.
There will be a tea garden, but that is likely to be crowded out by the men of the Natal Carbineers, the Natal Mounted Rifles and the Durban Light Infantry.
There will be the haggis ceremony:
Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the puddin-race!
I wonder if the fellow delivering the address will be able to belch into the microphone as loud as he did last year?
But this year there will be a difference. The South African Highlander Strongman title will be decided. Participants from all over the country will be there, performing feats of strength to surpass even caber tossing and weight-walking. These fellows apparently do things like see how high in the air they can throw a blacksmith's anvil.
And the winner will go to Edinburgh later in the year to compete in the World Highlander Strongman competition. Will it be Makhathini of Maritzburgh?
Also, the musical arrangements are slightly different. There will be the usual massed pipes and drums, of course. But there will also be a group known as Haggis & Bong, an ensemble who mix jazz and guitar with pipes and drums.
Haggis & Bong manage quite a noise on their own. But at some stage they will join the massed pipes and drums for a "jam session", as we in the music industry call it. It will make Splashy Fen sound like light chamber music.
The jam session, I understand, is sponsored by the Fort Nottingham sheep farmers' association. Every jackal in the district will be driven out of its lair and will be hightailing it for Van Reenen's Pass and the Free State.
I spoke to the Patron of the Games, the Maclaine of Lochbuie (I kid you not, that's his title, he's a genuine clan chieftain) - known to those of us who played cricket with him over the years as Drambuie. He tells me these will be the most spectacular and colourful games yet, the lassies the most bonny. KZN's best talent will be on display. Things will go with a zing.
"We cater for all tastes. For the more sedate we have a tea garden serving scones. For the hairy-chested we have bars and beer tents. There's music, there's colour. There's the sweat and grunt stuff. It's a great get-together."
Gie that man a Bells!
Scots technicians
DURING a time when I used to wander about Africa a bit, I encountered a whisky in the small Angolan seaport of Lobito.
The label was a very creditable crib of the Bells one. The small print read: "Distilled in Lobito under the direction of two Scottish technicians."
One imagined an unfrocked Presbyterian parson and the third engineer of a tramp steamer (who had missed his ship's sailing by falling asleep in a brothel) sitting in some dingy backroom distilling cane spirit – there was plenty of sugarcane grown in the district – and carefully blending it with black tea to get the colour.
This stuff was hooligan juice, appalling. I shudder at the recollection.
Gie that man a real Bells!
Tailpiece
DEFINITION of the Highland Fling: The queue outside the toilets at Fort Nottingham.
Last word
It's guid to be merry and wise,
It's guid to be honest and true,
It's guid to support Caledonia's cause,
And bide by the buff and the blue!
- Robert Burns
No comments:
Post a Comment