The jasmine revolution
THERE'S something very strange – almost eerie – about this revolution in Tunisia. Crowds turn out on the streets and engage in pitched battles with the police. They burn down and loot the property of the president and those associated with him.
The president hightails it for Saudi Arabia. Some sort of interim coalition government is formed. The police disappear from the scene, replaced by the army, who are friendly with the rioters. But the rioters carry on rioting nevertheless, in a more restrained kind of way.
Who was behind it all? We are not told.
No revolutionary leader has emerged. Nobody close to whoever organised the street protests has been interviewed. No organisation has claimed responsibility for the whole thing. There has been an almost total absence of banners, placards and graffiti proclaiming this or that agenda.
Al Qaeda appears not to have been involved. Was it the local chapter of Rotary? Was it the Flat Earth Society? Was it the Librarians' Union of Tunisia?
We are not told.
Balance bracelets
MUCH dismay has been expressed at the imminent departure of Jeffrey Hedberg, acting CEO of Telkom.
There has been much debate over the merits or otherwise of the expensive "balance bracelets" worn on their wrists by so many people. Do they really, through some sort of re-arrangement of atomic protons, neutrons and electrons, provide the wearer with an internal balance that provides him with energy and zing? Or are they, as the scoffers say, about as effective as a rubber band?
I don't know. All I know is that in a photograph in the finance pages this week, an ebullient Hedberg had two balled fists in the air. On one wrist was what appeared to be an expensive Rolex. On the other was an expensive balance bracelet.
What can this mean? I'd phone Telkom and try to find out, but the negative ions appear to be pinning me down.
Ideal companion
SOME very sound advice follows for the fairer sex:
If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports section - buy a dog.
If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you - buy a dog.
If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say it's not quite as good as his mother made it - buy a dog.
If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long as and wherever you want - buy a dog.
If you want someone to scare away burglars without a lethal weapon that terrifies you and endangers the lives of your family and all the neighbours - buy a dog.
If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't give a damn about football and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies - buy a dog.
If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet, and who you can push off if he snores - buy a dog.
If you want someone who never criticises what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, with boobs or without; who acts as if every word you say is especially worth listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually - buy a dog.
But, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night, only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness - buy a cat.
Into the billabong
FINANCIAL news from Oz. Those of us in e-mail contact with Australia will know that one of the largest e-mail/internet service providers Down Under is known as Bigpond. Now, it seems, Bigpond's shares are underwater.
Tailpiece
EXTRACT from a Royal Navy manual: "Married ratings are reminded that, when deployed on extended service at sea, it is not advisable to whistle as you pack."
Last word
My toughest fight was with my first wife.
GRAHAM LINSCOTT
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