Monday, January 31, 2011

The Idler, Thursday, January 27, 2011

Octopus extraordinaire

IT'S FITTING that a statue honouring Paul the psychic octopus should be erected at the aquarium in Germany where he correctly predicted the outcome of every match played by his country in the Football World Cup in South Africa last year, as well as the final between Spain and The Netherlands.

Paul would make his predictions by choosing between boxes bearing the flags of the two countries involved in each match, to get at a mussel placed inside.

He died peacefully and of natural causes last October.

A statue honouring him is now on display at the Sea Life Aquarium in Oberhausen.

The memorial is a six feet high plastic replica of Paul clutching a football in his eight tentacles. An urn inside the ball holds his cremated ashes.

The memorial was created after public demand from fans around the world.

Paul correctly tipped the outcome of all eight games he was consulted on during the World Cup including, of course, the final.

However, he tipped wrongly in his last consultation. He predicted that England would be picked to host the 2018 World Cup - but Russia was selected instead.

Yet this only enhances Paul's reputation. He called things as they were. He could not be influenced or bribed. This eight-armed creature of the sea just was not on the take.

 

Sad exodus

SOMETIMES it's difficult to appreciate the scale of the calamity that has struck Ireland with the financial meltdown.

Something like 150 000 young Irish people have their bags packed, mainly for New York, because there's nothing for them at home. This is the greatest exodus since the potato famine of the 19th century.

Emigration doesn't have the terrible finality it once had, but it's still traumatic. A TV programme interviewed some of the young leavers. One was struck by their brightness (and the beauty of the girls). Very sad.

Ireland's politics are in matching turmoil. Taoiseach (prime minister) Brian Cowen has resigned as leader of his Fianna Fail party but hopes to continue in government office until an election he has called for March 11. It's the kind of election nobody wants to win, and he could be unseated before then anyway. This is free-fall. It's scary.

Fianna Fail's ratings have plunged. Maybe Cowen will himself head for New York, bringing the number to 150 001. If his election date holds, he'll have just enough time to get there for the St Patrick's Day parades.

Sad and scary.

The question popped

A PORTUGUESE air stewardess was more than somewhat startled when, on a flight between Lisbon and Barcelona, she heard her boyfriend's voice over the PA system asking her to marry him.

Joao Viera had sneaked on board without her noticing, having arranged the thing with the rest of the aircrew. The 80 passengers cheered when Vera Silva agreed to marry him.

I suppose this rates as a very respectable version of the mile-high club.

Awesome shot

 

SUPPORT for the Supersport camera at cricket matches comes from reader Perry Webb. He says he also hates the banshees who howl and scream but loves the skin paint, the birds flying in formation and that awesome shot of the moon which has not been commented on.

 

"These shots are normally taken between overs and do not interfere with the enjoyment of the game but add to it.

 

"I think South African sports cameramen are the best in the world."

 

 

Piracy

MARITIME piracy costs the global economy between $7billion and $12billion a year, says a study by the British think-tank, Chatham House. Most of the costs are attributable to piracy off Somalia.

About $2bn is spent on naval operations off the coast of Somalia each year.

Two Durban people are currently among those being held hostage by Somali pirates. Is it not about time our state of the art corvettes were deployed to those waters to join the international naval force against the pirates? Why else were they bought?

 

Tailpiece

THIS fellow approaches a girl at a disco'

 

"Would you like to dance?"

 

"Not with you."

 

"Oh, come on. Lower your standards a little. I just did."

 

Last word

 

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.

Jilly Cooper

GRAHAM LINSCOTT

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