More than man's best friend
REALISATION sometimes creeps up slowly and softly. I've had my dog for years. He sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants, 24/7/365. His meals are provided at no cost to him.
He visits the doctor once a year for his checkup, and again if any medical needs arise. For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him.
He lives in a nice neighbourhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep. If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.
He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep. He receives this accommodation absolutely free.
He lives like a king, and has no expenses whatsoever. All his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head. My dog is a member of parliament!
Banshee broadcasting
WE'RE familiar with the phenomenon of the referee/umpire who thinks he's the focal point of the game. Now we have TV cameras doing much the same thing.
A reader complains about the practice, which began during the cricket tour of Dubai, of the Supersport camera zooming in on spectators, who then start screaming and performing, pulling faces.
"The recent games at Kingsmead and the Wanderers were particularly annoying. I canvassed about 30 guys at my local club, most of whom have played cricket at a reasonably high level, and to a man they agreed it was totally unnecessary and detracted from the broadcast.
"I tuned into the second England-Australia ODI at the MCG and what a pleasure to watch cricket without the horrible, needless distraction of these howling banshees."
What do other readers think?
Thin khaki line
MANY who have been on Zululand wilderness trails will know Roland Goetz, one of this province's hard core conservationists. He was a ranger with the Natal Parks Board then Director of the Wilderness Leadership School and is now serving the cause of conservation in Angola.
He was briefly back in town this week and by the time you read this will be back in Quicama National Park, a 10 000 square km reserve bounded by the Cuanza and Longa Rivers and with a 130km stretch of coastline – roughly the length of our South Coast.
As Director at Quicama, he patrols the extensive territory with all of 14 game guards. Animal numbers are building up well, he says, as Angola recovers from the civil war that lasted about three decades. Elephant and eland are doing especially well.
But poaching is a problem, as virtually everywhere in Africa, the poachers being armed with Kalashnikovs. Only recently one of his game guards was killed in a clash.
Quicama must be one of the few places in Africa where rhino are not being poached. But, alas, this is only because there are none. The white rhino that were translocated there from Zululand during Operation Rhino all died during the civil war.
The thought of rhino detonating landmines is truly sickening. So is the poaching. Men like Goetz and his game guards are part of a thin khaki line fighting a thankless struggle all across Africa.
Tourism drawcard
CROWDS of tourists are flocking to a place in Nepal called Chitwan to watch elephants play football. The huge, heavy beasts dribble the ball and score goals, to the delight of onlookers.
They also stage a beauty contest among the elephants, involving mascara and false eyelashes. The tourists just lap it up.
Are our tourism people missing a trick?
In Gauteng, at a place called Loftus Versfeld, huge, lumbering beasts can also be found chasing a ball and doing all kinds of things as they limber up for autumn and the approaching rugby season.
Tourists would surely lap up this spectacle, the running of the Blue Bulls.
But let's forget the beauty contest. Not even with mascara and false eyelashes.
Tailpiece
THE FROG traced his family lineage back to Warsaw. He was a tad Polish.
Last word
A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.
GRAHAM LINSCOTT
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