The Idler, Tuesday, February 9

In the Bahamas they wear no pyjamas, To keep them cool when they get hot; In the Bahamas they hug all the mamas, They want to latch onto what they got ... The pyjama game THE ABOVE lyrics by the very naughty Ruth Wallis are recalled by a dispute that is raging in Shanghai. The Chinese people have a custom, during the hot, languid summer months of lounging about the streets and shops in their loose and comfortable pyjamas, a tradition of the Far East. But the Chinese government has other ideas. With World Expo looming, the commissars have decided that pyjamas project too lax an image, too close a connection between sleep and the workplace. Street committees have been formed to lecture people on the evils of wearing pyjamas in the streets and the bad impression it makes on foreign visitors. Opinion is sharply divided, the pyjama-wearers citing human and cultural rights. I myself sympathise with the pyjama folk. There is something most satisfying about wearing pyjamas at midday, going about one's task in the stripeys while the rest of the world is togged out in work attire. Admittedly, this has always happened in the privacy of a hotel room in a different time zone, but it is a satisfaction, all the same, to tap out information of momentous import, knowing the punters out there will be hanging on every word, themselves in office rig, oneself in striped pyjamas. It's even better to get a phone call from base and be able to chat easily to some high up individual, he not aware that he is speaking to an underling who is in his pyjamas. In fact, much the same applies to the present. Do I pound out these words wearing striped pyjamas? Am I wearing shorties? I will keep you guessing. Oriental inscrutability.   Honeymoon gear PYJAMAS have been described as an item of apparel taken on honeymoon in case there's a fire. Yet their origin is not as night apparel. They are loose and cool to wear, ideal for the midday heat in the Far East and people wear them for precisely that purpose. In India some years ago I met Manmohan Singh, now prime minister but then minister of finance. It was mid-afternoon and he was wearing – you guessed it - pyjamas, and he was more appropriately dressed than I in a western open-necked shirt. Pyjamas were introduced to England in the 17th century following British penetration of the sub-continent and they became fashionable for a time as casual day wear. They went out of fashion then returned a century or so later as night wear. Safari suits THE SAFARI suit, ideal for our summer climate (and very popular in India as well), appears to have passed out of vogue, possibly because of its association with certain extremist political organisations. That is a pity. Perhaps it's time for pyjamas to make a return to daytime fashion in KwaZulu-Natal. We've got plenty of traders with the closest connections with Bombay. Let's get the models – male and female - out there on the catwalk. Sinking feeling FOR YEARS, Bovril had an advertisement that showed a man in striped pyjamas clinging to a giant bottle of Bovril in a turbulent sea. "Prevents that sinking feeling", the caption read. Punch magazine once parodied it brilliantly on its front cover. The man in the striped pyjamas was Harold Macmillan, the prime minister, who was facing all kinds of difficulties. The Bovril bottle was labelled "Blue Streak", Britain's missile that had been developed independently of the US. "Prevents that sinking feeling". The Pajama Game THE HINDI spelling of pyjama is "pajama", and this is one of the rare cases where the Americans are correct in their usage. Doris Day and Rock Hudson once made a rollicking musical called The Pajama Game – hundreds of factory seamstresses running up pyjamas as they joined in the choruses and Doris and Rock high-kicked about the place. And there was, of course, a nudge-nudge in the title. But Doris, it now turns out, was perfectly safe in her pyjamas.   Tailpiece   A SMALL boy is smoking at the street corner, taking sips from a hip flask.   Shocked woman: "Shouldn't you be at school?"   Small boy: "Have a heart, lady, I'm only four!"     Last word   The shortest distance between two points is under construction. Noelie Altito

GRAHAM LINSCOTT