Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The Idler, Monday, February 8, 2010

Them and us

A NEW and unanticipated chasm has opened up in South African society, threatening stresses, deep-seated psychological anxieties, alienation and lack of self esteem; a whole batch of neuroses. Once it was the racial divide. Then it was the rich/poor divide. Now it is them and us.

Them is the ever-increasing number of individuals who can claim to be the love-child of Jacob Zuma.

Us is those who can make no such claim and feel inadequate, third-rate and somehow contemptible because of it.

Psychologists had been expecting the Love Child Syndrome to show itself only in about 20 years. But with the sudden emergence of a 30-year-old Zimbabwean claiming to be Zuma's love-child, suddenly it is upon us. A flood of requests for counselling is expected.

As a leading local psychologist explained it: "People fixate on symbols that enhances their self-esteem. Anything seen as positive and worth-enhancing, that is dangled constantly before them for their attention, becomes something with which they identify. Hence the way so many parents named their young boys "Elvis" during the 1950s and 1960s; the way they chose "Joost" in the 1990s – and with a slight uptick again last year.

"In very much the same way, being the love child of Jacob Zuma has today become the ultimate. Those who are not a love child of Jacob Zuma feel inadequate, alienated and rejected. In extreme cases individuals might even fantasise that they are the love child of Jacob Zuma and buy bus tickets for Nkandla.

"It is a deep-seated and distressing neurosis, one that requires deep therapy."

 

Harry Schwarz

HARRY Schwarz, who has died at the age of 85, was an MP who brought to the floor of parliament the near-surgical skills of the brilliant lawyer he was.

An advocate in South Africa, he was also a member of the English bar. As the Information Scandal broke in the 1970s – it was to topple prime minister John Vorster and his heir apparent Dr Connie Mulder – Harry was involved in a complex international civil case that meant his appearing in court in Johannesburg and London and as an adviser in court to a Swiss legal team in Geneva.

He was overseas when the first Erasmus Commission report came out, lifting the lid on the Info misdeeds. His party couriered him a copy of the bulky report and he read it on the aircraft on his way home.

A few hours after landing – no sleep - he stood up in the House of Assembly as the opposition's spokesman on finance and launched what amounted to a courtroom cross-examination of the minister of Finance, Senator Owen Horwood. Harry tore Horwood to shreds. It was consummate stuff.

Harry Schwarz was a good 'un.

Back to basics

READER Tom Dennen brings news that the Amish (Pennsylvania Dutch) and Mennonite communities of America are thriving through the recession that has brought the rest of the country so low.

These mainly rural folk, who speak 18th century dialects and eschew 20th century inventions such as the motor car, the telephone and electricity, are "prospering mightily", according to economist Gerald Celente.

 

"While some nine million American homes have been foreclosed on since the beginning of the sub prime finance crisis, the Amish are unaffected.

 

"Why? They grow their own food, the dairy farms are all family-owned and everyone buys from family stores."

 

Nancy, a Pennsylvania Amish, said on a radio talk show with Celente: "My town is booming. We cannot build enough buildings to store the food. The Amish and Mennonites sell to each other - everything is made here, baloney sausage, potato chips, pretzels. The dairy farms are all family-owned, everyone goes to those family-owned businesses and they are thriving, thriving.

 

"Y'know they built two new big Walmarts up here, open 24/7, and they actually built barns so the Amish can hook up their horses and buggies. The Amish just don't go there!"

 

Not a maxed-out credit card anywhere in sight, says Tom.

But I do wonder what an Amish girl is doing speaking into a microphone and being heard on the radio.

Tailpiece

DESCARTES walks into a bar.

Barman: "Can I get you a drink?"

Descartes: "I think not."

Then he disappears.

Last word

 

For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.

Clifton Fadiman

GRAHAM LINSCOTT

 

 

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