Tally-ho!
The chase
is on!
TOMORROW the fellows need to be smarter than a fox. And the hunting idiom is appropriate. It will be February 29, Leap Year, the day gals pop the question to the lads and the lads are not allowed to turn them down – or are heavily punished if they do. Tally-ho, the bridegroom!
In Ireland (where it originated) a man who turns down a girl's marriage proposal has to buy her a silk gown. Similar punishments are prescribed all over Europe and America.
It began, they say, in Ireland in the 5th century when a nun named St Bridget made a deal with St Patrick the patron saint, that women should be allowed to propose marriage once every four years on Leap Day. St Bridget had been getting complaints from women that their menfolk were too shy and nervous to pop the question.
But there are other theories. They say that in England in the early days the law didn't recognise February 29 or anything that happened on that day. So it was a case of anything goes – the gals were free to pounce. And if the fellow refused, he had to buy her new gloves on Easter Day.
.Another theory: Queen Margaret of Scotland put in place a law allowing women freedom to propose during a leap year but fined any man who refused them. But fair's fair. The proposer had to wear a red petticoat to warn the guy of what she was up to.
It's all lost in the mists of time. All the same, fellows, be wary tomorrow of girls in red petticoats, not to mention damsels dropping from the rafters in places like the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties. Refusing their proposal could cost you a case of Guinness.
Queensland Reds
ANOTHER Leap Year occasion – the Sharks vs Queensland Reds tomorrow. This should be another humdinger, the opposition a notch or so higher than last week.
The way the Sharks are playing, anything's possible. The pack have settled after the unfortunate early heebie-jeebies. The threequarters are the most adventurous and exciting in the competition.
How marvellous if they can pull it off and return with three wins out of four.
'Erewego, 'erewego, 'erewego!
Derbyshire wonder
ONLINE pranksters are playing havoc with the tourism industry in Ilkeston, Derbyshire, in England.
They keep raving on the local TripAdviser platform about the architectural and artistic beauty of "The NatWest Hole" – a circular hole in a wall outside a bank, placed so that ATM users can check that nobody is lurking in the vicinity. The NatWest Hole has now been propelled to one of the top five attractions in Ilkeston, according to Sky News.
Examples:
· "I could easily compare it to the majestic wonder of Stonehenge or even the Pyramids."
· "I've seen the Great Wall of China, I've seen the Eiffel Tower, I've been to the Grand Canyon, but the NatWest Hole has to be the most awe inspiring structure I have ever seen!"
· "A one-of-a-kind architectural masterpiece that draws visitors from near and far".
Such fun. But TripAdviser has now announced it is freezing contributions on The NatWest Hole.
The wags win.
Tailpiece
PADDY and Mick are standing at the cliff-edge, each holding a budgie. They jump. They end in a bruised and bloody heap below.
Says Paddy: "You know, dis budgie jumpin' ain't as much fun as dey make out."
Last word
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. - Albert Einstein
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