Getting the
ticketty back into
ticketty-boo
TEMBE Elephant Park, just beneath the Mozambique border, is one of my favourite game reserves. It has the Big Five – lion, leopard, elephant, rhino and buffalo. It has little red duiker and blue duiker and the tiny suni, the world's smallest antelope – and just about everything else between big and tiny.
It has Mozambican beer, Laurentina and Deux M from just across the border, for the evening sing-songs round the campfire.
And it is staffed by men and women of the Tembe clan. Yes, the park is on their ancestral land, a rare partnership between a traditional community and the tourism sector, providing profits and salaries in an otherwise poverty-stricken region. Conservation is managed by Ezemvelo KZN Wildlife, so everything is more or less tickety-boo.
Tembe has its own airstrip, which makes it an easy drop-off for overseas visitors, many of them from America.
A feature of a visit to Tembe is being greeted on arrival at the luxury camp by a choir of Tembe women in their colourful traditional costume and singing like angels.
But something is not quite tickety-boo. The villages of Esicabazini and Sihangwane, where many of the park staff live, are struggling for clean drinking water. The pipelines from the Pongola River keep breaking down – and have been for 10 years.
To fetch water, carrying it a distance on foot in summer temperatures of 40 degrees C, is no joke. The Park is now trucking water to them from its own borehole.
But the management have decided something better is needed. They've set about raising the estimated R200 000 needed to sink two boreholes, one at each village, and put in the piping and pumping equipment. The Tembe menfolk are prepared to dig the trenches for nothing.
The Park management appeal to those who love Tembe and its people to contribute.
Anyone wishing to donate or get involved otherwise should go to this link: https//www.backabuddy.co.za/champion/project/bring-water-to-our-people
Let's keep the Tembe lasses singing.
Laugh a line
INVESTMENT analyst Dr James Greener does his best in his latest grumpy newsletter to cheer us up.
"Changes and levels of the exchange rate between the rand and other currencies on all time scales can reasonably be used as an indicator of the aggregate opinion of the worth of the nation. This week the diagnosis was that we are a very sick puppy. Dull eyes, white gums and no wag in the tail.
"Two high profile 'influencers', Richard Quest of CNN and RW Johnson, an independent writer, came out with severe 'tell it like it is' bear cases for the country.
"The 'Oh but…' responses have been loud and fast but this time they have failed to rally the faithful or yet the rand. Perhaps the biggest disappointment for many is the suspicion that President Cyril is utterly powerless …
In case you're not yet giggling, he gets on to the Development Bank of Southern Africa.
"There was official smugness and relief when the DBSA conjured up a R3.5bn loan for the national airline, supposedly without recourse to the National Treasury and taxpayers' money. Er … not quite, chaps. If ever one wanted an illustration of the 'kicking the can down the road' idiom this is it. DBSA is wholly state- owned."
Hey, that's a good one!
Then there's the spat between Eskom and Nersa over electricity price hikes.
"Eskom is in dire need of money and surprisingly have recently got Cosatu support for a R200 billion 'investment' by the state pension fund. Another very bad idea."
Hilarious!
Then the Department of Health assuring citizens that the huge costs of the new NHI will not be funded by "extra money from your pocket" but will instead be paid for by taxation and appropriated through parliament.
Ha ha! Hee hee, hee! Hoo,hoo! Oh dear, this really is funny!
Tailpiece
SHERLOCK Holmes and Dr Watson are on a camping trip. After a good meal they turn in. Then Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up and tell me what you see".
"I see a fantastic panorama of countless stars".
"And what does that tell you?"
"Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
"What does it tell you, Holmes?"
"My dear Watson, it tells me some blighter has stolen our tent."
Last word
No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it. - Charles M Schulz
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